A 100-year-old woman was stabbed to death in the neck in London. It took a cleaning crew hours to clean up the mess. There was dust everywhere.
The news division of ABC is planning to lay off close to 300 people. But it’s good news for Elaine from accounting. She’s the new White House Correspondent.
iTunes sold its 10 billionth song. American Idol singer Tim Urban just butchered his.
A chronically underperforming school in Rhode Island took drastic measures and fired all of its teachers. So in tiny Rhode Island, that means all one of them.
A killer whale fatally injured a trainer who fell into the water at SeaWorld. When Kirstie Alley takes a bath, she says she worries about the same thing.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Feb. 23, 2010
Former Vice President Dick Cheney sustained his fifth heart attack this week. Trying to prevent another attack, which could be deadly, his heart is said to favor advanced interrogation techniques against his coronary artery.
A Queens man revealed a chilling plan to blow up the NYC subway system yesterday. Of course, it doesn’t take a backpack and a detonator to cause widespread disruption. He could have just snowed on the tracks.
Rather than waterboard him for crucial information, investigators are planning to just subject him to the F train. An equally inhumane form of torture.
With war on several fronts, the Army’s top general said he’s against ending “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” Unless, of course, the next front in the war is against red carpets, glitter and fabulousness.
Former Vice President sustained yet another heart attack – but showed no abnormal rhythm involving the upper chambers of his heart. The upper chamber being right next to the evil one.
It’s National Margarita Day. Or as Rip Torn calls it, Tuesday.
Turns out even less separates man from monkey. Research shows chimps know the difference between five chocolates and four. A pint and a quart. But apparently they couldn’t tell the difference between Kirstie Alley and Manatee.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
A Queens man revealed a chilling plan to blow up the NYC subway system yesterday. Of course, it doesn’t take a backpack and a detonator to cause widespread disruption. He could have just snowed on the tracks.
Rather than waterboard him for crucial information, investigators are planning to just subject him to the F train. An equally inhumane form of torture.
With war on several fronts, the Army’s top general said he’s against ending “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” Unless, of course, the next front in the war is against red carpets, glitter and fabulousness.
Former Vice President sustained yet another heart attack – but showed no abnormal rhythm involving the upper chambers of his heart. The upper chamber being right next to the evil one.
It’s National Margarita Day. Or as Rip Torn calls it, Tuesday.
Turns out even less separates man from monkey. Research shows chimps know the difference between five chocolates and four. A pint and a quart. But apparently they couldn’t tell the difference between Kirstie Alley and Manatee.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Monday, February 22, 2010
Feb. 22, 2010
A shipwreck left dozens of college kids clinging to lifeboats for nearly two nights hundreds of miles off the coast of Brazil. It was the best Astronomy class ever.
In Olympic hockey, Team USA upset Canada 5-3. We haven’t beaten anyone that badly since Abu Ghraib.
If you want to see bare-knuckled, bruising competition that results in medals and national glory, tune in to the Winter Olympics. If you want to see bare-knuckled, bruising competition that results in nothing – except national embarrassment – tune in to the President Obama’s healthcare summit this week on C-SPAN.
A shipwreck left dozens of college kids clinging to lifeboats for nearly two nights hundreds of miles off the coast of Brazil. The students described it almost as scary as their Statistics 2 class.
In the shark-infested waters, the students went from having the college meal plan to becoming it.
In Tiger Woods’s 14-minute news conference on Friday, the best golfer in the world showed everyone he’s also the worst actor in the world.
Call 911, get a $300 bill. That’s one California town’s novel way to raise much-needed money. $300 for a 90-second call? That isn’t an emergency call. That’s phone sex.
One California town wants to charge residents $300 for 911 emergency calls. Paying that much money for that short of a call isn’t unheard of. But usually you have to be 18 or older to call.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
In Olympic hockey, Team USA upset Canada 5-3. We haven’t beaten anyone that badly since Abu Ghraib.
If you want to see bare-knuckled, bruising competition that results in medals and national glory, tune in to the Winter Olympics. If you want to see bare-knuckled, bruising competition that results in nothing – except national embarrassment – tune in to the President Obama’s healthcare summit this week on C-SPAN.
A shipwreck left dozens of college kids clinging to lifeboats for nearly two nights hundreds of miles off the coast of Brazil. The students described it almost as scary as their Statistics 2 class.
In the shark-infested waters, the students went from having the college meal plan to becoming it.
In Tiger Woods’s 14-minute news conference on Friday, the best golfer in the world showed everyone he’s also the worst actor in the world.
Call 911, get a $300 bill. That’s one California town’s novel way to raise much-needed money. $300 for a 90-second call? That isn’t an emergency call. That’s phone sex.
One California town wants to charge residents $300 for 911 emergency calls. Paying that much money for that short of a call isn’t unheard of. But usually you have to be 18 or older to call.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Friday, February 19, 2010
Feb. 19, 2010
The National Enquirer might actually win its first Pulitzer Prize for uncovering the John Edwards-Rielle Hunter affair. I read that in The National Enquirer. Right next to “Wolfman Heals Obamas’ Dog, Smokes Celebratory Cigar with President Afterward.”
Must have been a slow news-year.
It wouldn’t be the newspaper’s first. It has won countless Pulitzers in the Aliens, Crop Circles and Wolfmen category.
Two Chinese schools -- including one with ties to the Chinese military -- are said to have broken into Google’s IT infrastructure to steal its trade secrets. Didn’t they know they could just google “Google’s trade secrets”?
Frightening stuff. So when they aren’t poisoning our toothpaste or tainting our toys, they’re reading our email.
Olympic organizers have stocked the Olympic Village with 100,000 condoms. I hadn't realized Tiger Woods qualified for the Games.
After the Federal Reserve raised interest rates yesterday, the value of a dollar rose. Just not at strip clubs.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Must have been a slow news-year.
It wouldn’t be the newspaper’s first. It has won countless Pulitzers in the Aliens, Crop Circles and Wolfmen category.
Two Chinese schools -- including one with ties to the Chinese military -- are said to have broken into Google’s IT infrastructure to steal its trade secrets. Didn’t they know they could just google “Google’s trade secrets”?
Frightening stuff. So when they aren’t poisoning our toothpaste or tainting our toys, they’re reading our email.
Olympic organizers have stocked the Olympic Village with 100,000 condoms. I hadn't realized Tiger Woods qualified for the Games.
After the Federal Reserve raised interest rates yesterday, the value of a dollar rose. Just not at strip clubs.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Feb. 17, 2010
A coroner has determined fashion maven Alexander McQueen hanged himself. Apparently, it happened right after he saw someone wearing denim on denim. His last words: “That was so 1987.”
A Scottish Terrier won the Westminster Kennel Dog Club yesterday. The crowd went wild. Of course, that’s understandable. It's been ages since there was something to cheer for at Madison Square Garden.
What a scene. The dogs went wild for the celebratory confetti. And even more wild for the vacuum that cleaned it all up.
With nobody buying music anymore, the owners of Abbey Road might have to put the famous music studio up for sale. The asking price: $.99 cents, which you can purchase through the iTunes store.
Electric cars are going to start rolling into showrooms soon. Carmakers say they’ll be able to go 100 miles on a single charge. Of course, that’s assuming you’re not running the radio and the windshield wipers.
The bicycle protest group Critical Mass suffered a setback yesterday. A judge ruled that they not only need a permit to gather, but with unemployment above 10% and the economy dragging, their cause right now is actually sadder than their bicycle bells.
Walgreens has agreed to buy Duane Reade. Actually, the deal would have gone through six months ago, but it’s still waiting on line.
Eight states will soon administer tests allowing high school sophomore to enroll immediately in community college. So it’s possible to gain that freshman 15 when you actually turn 15.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
A Scottish Terrier won the Westminster Kennel Dog Club yesterday. The crowd went wild. Of course, that’s understandable. It's been ages since there was something to cheer for at Madison Square Garden.
What a scene. The dogs went wild for the celebratory confetti. And even more wild for the vacuum that cleaned it all up.
With nobody buying music anymore, the owners of Abbey Road might have to put the famous music studio up for sale. The asking price: $.99 cents, which you can purchase through the iTunes store.
Electric cars are going to start rolling into showrooms soon. Carmakers say they’ll be able to go 100 miles on a single charge. Of course, that’s assuming you’re not running the radio and the windshield wipers.
The bicycle protest group Critical Mass suffered a setback yesterday. A judge ruled that they not only need a permit to gather, but with unemployment above 10% and the economy dragging, their cause right now is actually sadder than their bicycle bells.
Walgreens has agreed to buy Duane Reade. Actually, the deal would have gone through six months ago, but it’s still waiting on line.
Eight states will soon administer tests allowing high school sophomore to enroll immediately in community college. So it’s possible to gain that freshman 15 when you actually turn 15.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Feb. 16, 2010
Electric cars are going to start rolling into showrooms soon. Carmakers say they’ll be able to go 100 miles on a single charge. Of course, that’s assuming you’re not running the radio and the windshield wipers at the same time.
I just hope they get better battery life than my iPhone.
The oldest man on death row has died. He was so old his prison number was actually 001.
According to the British and Irish, top Hamas killers are successfully using fake passports to sneak into countries. So apparently it’s easier to sneak into the United States than the Hustler Club.
It isn’t just underage college kids trying to get alcohol. Apparently top Hamas killers are walking around with fake passports, too. British and Irish governments grew especially suspicious at the name on Mahmoud al-Mabhouh’s passport: Mclovin.
His birth certificate says Mamoud. His passport says Gary.
Three thousand years later, researchers believe malaria might have killed King Tut. But they haven't yet ruled out texting while camel-riding.
The oldest man on death row has died. Leroy Nash was 94 and died of natural causes. Proof that double homicide, grand theft auto, armed robbery, escaping from prison and killing a police officer might actually be as good for your health as diet and exercise.
A sign of life might be on a meteorite that crashed into earth 40 years ago. Scientists have identified millions of carbon-containing molecules in the rock. Now, if only they could discover the same in Congress.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
I just hope they get better battery life than my iPhone.
The oldest man on death row has died. He was so old his prison number was actually 001.
According to the British and Irish, top Hamas killers are successfully using fake passports to sneak into countries. So apparently it’s easier to sneak into the United States than the Hustler Club.
It isn’t just underage college kids trying to get alcohol. Apparently top Hamas killers are walking around with fake passports, too. British and Irish governments grew especially suspicious at the name on Mahmoud al-Mabhouh’s passport: Mclovin.
His birth certificate says Mamoud. His passport says Gary.
Three thousand years later, researchers believe malaria might have killed King Tut. But they haven't yet ruled out texting while camel-riding.
The oldest man on death row has died. Leroy Nash was 94 and died of natural causes. Proof that double homicide, grand theft auto, armed robbery, escaping from prison and killing a police officer might actually be as good for your health as diet and exercise.
A sign of life might be on a meteorite that crashed into earth 40 years ago. Scientists have identified millions of carbon-containing molecules in the rock. Now, if only they could discover the same in Congress.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Friday, February 12, 2010
Feb. 12, 2010
GE is unveiling a new iPhone-sized ultrasound machine. It’s great for doctors but bad for patients. To view your baby’s image, you have to sign up for a two-year contract.
It actually finds your baby using the iPhone Maps app.
Snowstorms have caused countless car accidents in the East. Almost as many as Toyota.
Surgeons in Pittsburg have performed the first double hand transplant. When the recipient regained full motor control, he gave himself what he characterized as the most awkward, yet satisfying hand-job ever.
The Wall Street Journal has predicted Team USA will win 33 medals at the 2010 Winter Olympics. Or about the equivalent of one medal for every American watching the games on TV.
Five-time Olympic speed-skater Apolo Anton Ohno said the key to winning gold is nonstop acceleration. Which is why he’s outfitting his skates with a Toyota gas pedal.
Executives at NBC have said that if at least 27 people watch the Winter Olympics, they’ll have the ratings boost they were looking for.
The inventor of the Frisbee, Fred Morrison, has died. Unfortunately, Ultimate Frisbee did not go with him.
In lieu of flowers, the family has asked for everyone to learn how to toss the damn thing.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
It actually finds your baby using the iPhone Maps app.
Snowstorms have caused countless car accidents in the East. Almost as many as Toyota.
Surgeons in Pittsburg have performed the first double hand transplant. When the recipient regained full motor control, he gave himself what he characterized as the most awkward, yet satisfying hand-job ever.
The Wall Street Journal has predicted Team USA will win 33 medals at the 2010 Winter Olympics. Or about the equivalent of one medal for every American watching the games on TV.
Five-time Olympic speed-skater Apolo Anton Ohno said the key to winning gold is nonstop acceleration. Which is why he’s outfitting his skates with a Toyota gas pedal.
Executives at NBC have said that if at least 27 people watch the Winter Olympics, they’ll have the ratings boost they were looking for.
The inventor of the Frisbee, Fred Morrison, has died. Unfortunately, Ultimate Frisbee did not go with him.
In lieu of flowers, the family has asked for everyone to learn how to toss the damn thing.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Feb. 10, 2010
A blizzard blanketed the East Coast today. The only place whiter than New York City right now is the Winter Olympics.
It’s too bad the economy doesn’t have a Toyota gas pedal.
Countless snowball fights broke out in Central Park today. Each being vastly more captivating than the totality of two weeks of Winter Olympic games.
A Bronx city councilmember was charged with 13 counts of money laundering today. To some, Larry Seabrook is a thief. To Wall Street, he’s one of their own.
It’s too bad the economy doesn’t have a Toyota gas pedal.
Countless snowball fights broke out in Central Park today. Each being vastly more captivating than the totality of two weeks of Winter Olympic games.
A Bronx city councilmember was charged with 13 counts of money laundering today. To some, Larry Seabrook is a thief. To Wall Street, he’s one of their own.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Feb. 09, 2010
Valentine’s Day might be awkward for New York Gov. David Paterson, who’s admitted to having extramarital affairs. But not nearly as awkward as Father’s Day.
With the sex scandal under his belt, at least now we know the first-term governor is qualified to hold office.
Paterson said he wasn’t having sex with another woman. He was simply masturbating inside of one.
Plans to produce the world’s first genetically modified food plants are being put on hold over safety concerns. Apparently the aubergine is a lousy candidate for Corn Flakes, but a great candidate for cancer.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
With the sex scandal under his belt, at least now we know the first-term governor is qualified to hold office.
Paterson said he wasn’t having sex with another woman. He was simply masturbating inside of one.
Plans to produce the world’s first genetically modified food plants are being put on hold over safety concerns. Apparently the aubergine is a lousy candidate for Corn Flakes, but a great candidate for cancer.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Monday, February 8, 2010
Feb. 08, 2010
A body was discovered in the wheel well of a NY-to-Tokyo flight today. Health officials are trying to determine if the man died of hypothermia. Or plain old airline food.
And you thought your flight sucked.
The orbital Cassini probe detected what is most likely a large body of water on one of Saturn’s moon. Scientists said it’s actually right next to a Starbucks.
Rip Torn said to call him when they find vodka.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
And you thought your flight sucked.
The orbital Cassini probe detected what is most likely a large body of water on one of Saturn’s moon. Scientists said it’s actually right next to a Starbucks.
Rip Torn said to call him when they find vodka.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Feb. 04, 2010
The last speaker of an ancient Indian language has died. While the language, Bo, goes back more than 70,000 years, it’s not nearly as widely spoken as other Indian languages, including C++, C# and Java.
A new study shows that patients in a vegetative state do, in fact, show some brain activity. Which makes them even more qualified to hold a seat in Congress than most lawmakers.
A new study shows that patients in a vegetative state do, in fact, show some brain activity. It’s kind of a no-brainer.
Thanks to hit movies like The Blind Side, Time Warner surprised everyone by posting a profit yesterday. But, more surprisingly, its cable technicians actually arrived between 12-4 PM at 774 Maple Avenue.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
A new study shows that patients in a vegetative state do, in fact, show some brain activity. Which makes them even more qualified to hold a seat in Congress than most lawmakers.
A new study shows that patients in a vegetative state do, in fact, show some brain activity. It’s kind of a no-brainer.
Thanks to hit movies like The Blind Side, Time Warner surprised everyone by posting a profit yesterday. But, more surprisingly, its cable technicians actually arrived between 12-4 PM at 774 Maple Avenue.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Feb. 04, 2010
A new study shows that patients in a vegetative state do, in fact, show some brain activity. Which makes them even more qualified to hold a seat in Congress than most lawmakers.
A new study shows that patients in a vegetative state do, in fact, show some brain activity. It’s kind of a no-brainer.
The last speaker of an ancient Indian language known as Bo has died. Apparently, her last words were, “A’ight, peace out, yo.”
The last speaker of an ancient Indian language has died. While the language, Bo, goes back more than 70,000 years, it’s not nearly as widely spoken as other Indian languages, including C++, C# and Java.
Thanks to hit movies like The Blind Side, Time Warner surprised everyone by posting a profit yesterday. But, more surprisingly, its cable technicians actually arrived between 12-4 PM at 774 Maple Avenue.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
A new study shows that patients in a vegetative state do, in fact, show some brain activity. It’s kind of a no-brainer.
The last speaker of an ancient Indian language known as Bo has died. Apparently, her last words were, “A’ight, peace out, yo.”
The last speaker of an ancient Indian language has died. While the language, Bo, goes back more than 70,000 years, it’s not nearly as widely spoken as other Indian languages, including C++, C# and Java.
Thanks to hit movies like The Blind Side, Time Warner surprised everyone by posting a profit yesterday. But, more surprisingly, its cable technicians actually arrived between 12-4 PM at 774 Maple Avenue.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Feb. 03, 2010
In light of Toyota’s struggles, some people think hara-kiri – honorable suicide – is in order for Toyota’s top brass. They could start by driving one of their own cars.
According to Forbes magazine, the most dangerous place to be is Afghanistan's Khost Province. The second most dangerous: inside a Toyota Camry.
Toyota gas pedals get stuck. Breaks in the Prius don’t work. Even its “new car smell” is noxious.
Anyone think we bailed out the wrong carmakers?
Toyota Prius. Or as drivers call it: the Toyota Pray-for-us.
Bad time to be a Toyota owner. Gas pedals get stuck. Breaks don’t work. But, hey, at least the “check engine” light isn’t blinking.
Other carmakers are offering a $1,000 if you trade in your Toyota. What they don’t tell you is that the $1,000 is coming out of your taxpaying pocket.
People are now reporting faulty breaks in their hybrid Toyota Priuses. So as you’re hurdling towards an intersection at 125 MPH, at least you can know you’re helping the environment along the way.
To monitor how the world’s oceans are changing, Europe is funding the Jason – a high-tech altimeter spacecraft. Do we really need to go to space to monitor the oceans? Isn’t the beach a little closer?
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
According to Forbes magazine, the most dangerous place to be is Afghanistan's Khost Province. The second most dangerous: inside a Toyota Camry.
Toyota gas pedals get stuck. Breaks in the Prius don’t work. Even its “new car smell” is noxious.
Anyone think we bailed out the wrong carmakers?
Toyota Prius. Or as drivers call it: the Toyota Pray-for-us.
Bad time to be a Toyota owner. Gas pedals get stuck. Breaks don’t work. But, hey, at least the “check engine” light isn’t blinking.
Other carmakers are offering a $1,000 if you trade in your Toyota. What they don’t tell you is that the $1,000 is coming out of your taxpaying pocket.
People are now reporting faulty breaks in their hybrid Toyota Priuses. So as you’re hurdling towards an intersection at 125 MPH, at least you can know you’re helping the environment along the way.
To monitor how the world’s oceans are changing, Europe is funding the Jason – a high-tech altimeter spacecraft. Do we really need to go to space to monitor the oceans? Isn’t the beach a little closer?
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Monday, February 1, 2010
Feb. 01, 2010
President Obama will hold his first youtube press conference today. Provided Malia can quit hogging all the damn White House bandwidth.
Obama isn’t the first major political figure to post video to youtube. John Edwards beat him to it. But you have to be over 18 to view that video.
The President plans to announce that Windows 7 was actually his idea.
Who would have thought that the window into the White House we all wanted would be a buddy window?
Breast reductions are the most popular form of cosmetic surgery these days – for men. While going under the knife is always terrifying, men are proving that it takes a pair of balls to lose a pair of breasts.
One thing there won’t be at this weekend’s Super Bowl: Snow. Unless, of course, you go into just about any bathroom in South Beach.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Obama isn’t the first major political figure to post video to youtube. John Edwards beat him to it. But you have to be over 18 to view that video.
The President plans to announce that Windows 7 was actually his idea.
Who would have thought that the window into the White House we all wanted would be a buddy window?
Breast reductions are the most popular form of cosmetic surgery these days – for men. While going under the knife is always terrifying, men are proving that it takes a pair of balls to lose a pair of breasts.
One thing there won’t be at this weekend’s Super Bowl: Snow. Unless, of course, you go into just about any bathroom in South Beach.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
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