The Pope visits Malta this week. Its mayor wants a towering phallic art sculpture removed before he arrives. Of course, if the mayor is worried about embarrassing the pope, maybe it should have all 12-year-old boys removed, too.
While none of the priests joining him for the trip speak Maltese, the pope ought to warn them the city’s hop-on hop-off busses are not what they think.
Locals are encouraging him to visit sightseeing destinations with breathtaking views. But for god’s sake, stay away from the St Clare College Boys' Secondary School.
An American Airlines plane made an emergency landing in Iceland yesterday. Good thing nobody had to use their emergency flotation devices. The fee for those is astronomical.
The plane encountered mechanical trouble. Its credit card reader stopped working.
Actually, passengers reported smelling a chemical fumes. Investigators aren’t sure where the stench was coming from. But haven’t ruled out the halibut.
The Yankees will receive their World Series rings today at Yankee Stadium. Each ring is worth about $20,000. Almost as much as the price of a bleacher seat.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
April 12, 2010
McDonald’s in Germany unveiled New York City-Themed cupcakes. The Chelsea is chocolate. The East Village is cappuccino. The Upper East Side is old, snotty, and costs a small fortune.
The cupcakes haven’t been the hit McDonald’s was hoping for. Apparently, Germans neither like cupcakes. Nor lame ideas.
Scientists are taking another look at hallucinogenics for ways to treat cancer, depression and eating disorders. As far as I know, ‘hrooms lead to munchies, which lead to a dozen Twinkees and seven Cheesy Gorditas from Taco Bell. They don’t treat eating disorders. They create them.
So next year’s Nobel Prize might just go to 11 seniors cutting Calculus in the Middle Village High School parking lot.
The Bloomberg Administration is planning to buy Governor’s Island from New York State. Mayor Bloomberg plans to build there what he failed to build on Manhattan’s west side: A future.
The Bloomberg Administration is planning to buy Governor’s Island from New York State. It wants to create a park, build some schools, and 300 more Duane Reeds.
The Pulitzer Prizes were announced. The Washington Post won four prizes and wishes to thank devastating natural disasters, civil wars, genocide and Michael Jackson for helping it win.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
The cupcakes haven’t been the hit McDonald’s was hoping for. Apparently, Germans neither like cupcakes. Nor lame ideas.
Scientists are taking another look at hallucinogenics for ways to treat cancer, depression and eating disorders. As far as I know, ‘hrooms lead to munchies, which lead to a dozen Twinkees and seven Cheesy Gorditas from Taco Bell. They don’t treat eating disorders. They create them.
So next year’s Nobel Prize might just go to 11 seniors cutting Calculus in the Middle Village High School parking lot.
The Bloomberg Administration is planning to buy Governor’s Island from New York State. Mayor Bloomberg plans to build there what he failed to build on Manhattan’s west side: A future.
The Bloomberg Administration is planning to buy Governor’s Island from New York State. It wants to create a park, build some schools, and 300 more Duane Reeds.
The Pulitzer Prizes were announced. The Washington Post won four prizes and wishes to thank devastating natural disasters, civil wars, genocide and Michael Jackson for helping it win.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
April 7, 2010
Spirit Airlines is preparing to charge passengers $45 per carry on bag. Which makes perfect sense. If they also get seats.
But easing the burden on passengers, airport security officials say they will not be charging for the privelage of rooting through your personal stuff, wanding your genitals and laying your underwear out for everyone to see.
Former Newark Mayor Sharpe James was released from federal prison in Virginia Tuesday morning. Told he’d be freed and sent home to Newark, Sharpe reportedly asked for a longer sentence.
Sharpe spent his 18 months time in prison mentoring, writing his memoirs and improving his handball game. He said it’s amazing what you can do with your hands. Especially when they’re not busy taking from other people’s pockets.
With rampant prostitution, crack dealers, violence and gangs, Newark should remind Sharpe of his 18 months of incarceration.
iPad users are complaining about weak signals and slow downloads. Apple said it has issued a fix. Depending on your device, it can be downloaded anywhere from 30 seconds to three days.
Summer-like day in New York City. With record-setting temperatures, girls are starting to show more skin. Guys are starting to show more chest hair.
But easing the burden on passengers, airport security officials say they will not be charging for the privelage of rooting through your personal stuff, wanding your genitals and laying your underwear out for everyone to see.
Former Newark Mayor Sharpe James was released from federal prison in Virginia Tuesday morning. Told he’d be freed and sent home to Newark, Sharpe reportedly asked for a longer sentence.
Sharpe spent his 18 months time in prison mentoring, writing his memoirs and improving his handball game. He said it’s amazing what you can do with your hands. Especially when they’re not busy taking from other people’s pockets.
With rampant prostitution, crack dealers, violence and gangs, Newark should remind Sharpe of his 18 months of incarceration.
iPad users are complaining about weak signals and slow downloads. Apple said it has issued a fix. Depending on your device, it can be downloaded anywhere from 30 seconds to three days.
Summer-like day in New York City. With record-setting temperatures, girls are starting to show more skin. Guys are starting to show more chest hair.
Monday, March 29, 2010
March 29, 2010
The crime rate in NYC is up 20% this year. And that's not even including its elected officials.
Best Buy is reportedly interested in buying RadioShack. If it goes through, Best Buy would have 30 days to revoke the purchase. Provided it hangs on to the receipt.
President Obama surprised the troops with an unannounced visit to Afghanistan over the weekend. Unannounced visits. The term alone sends shivers up the spine of John Edwards.
He was there to ask Hamid Karzai a difficult question: Michigan State or Butler?
He was there to ask Hamid Karzai a difficult question: Why is it that on all other nights we dine either sitting upright or reclining, but on this night we all recline?
He was there to send a strong signal to Hamid Karzai, face-to-face, man-to-man, leader-to-ineffective-fraudulently-elected-leader.
Passover isn’t just a Jewish tradition. In fact many Americans celebrated it at the movies this weekend. “Passover,” they would say, “the popcorn.”
North Korean defectors are using cellphones to spy on their old impenetrable country. Sources inside feed them information. Kim Jong Il is determined to make sure the calls don’t go through. That’s why he’s giving everyone in the country an AT&T account.
The crime rate in NYC is up 20% this year. In some areas it's actually at 100%. That area? Wall Street.
The crime rate in NYC is up 20% this year. That's not even including the Catholic Chuch.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Best Buy is reportedly interested in buying RadioShack. If it goes through, Best Buy would have 30 days to revoke the purchase. Provided it hangs on to the receipt.
President Obama surprised the troops with an unannounced visit to Afghanistan over the weekend. Unannounced visits. The term alone sends shivers up the spine of John Edwards.
He was there to ask Hamid Karzai a difficult question: Michigan State or Butler?
He was there to ask Hamid Karzai a difficult question: Why is it that on all other nights we dine either sitting upright or reclining, but on this night we all recline?
He was there to send a strong signal to Hamid Karzai, face-to-face, man-to-man, leader-to-ineffective-fraudulently-elected-leader.
Passover isn’t just a Jewish tradition. In fact many Americans celebrated it at the movies this weekend. “Passover,” they would say, “the popcorn.”
North Korean defectors are using cellphones to spy on their old impenetrable country. Sources inside feed them information. Kim Jong Il is determined to make sure the calls don’t go through. That’s why he’s giving everyone in the country an AT&T account.
The crime rate in NYC is up 20% this year. In some areas it's actually at 100%. That area? Wall Street.
The crime rate in NYC is up 20% this year. That's not even including the Catholic Chuch.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Thursday, March 25, 2010
March 25, 2010
The MTA approved massive service cuts yesterday. By eliminating or cutting over 100 bus and two subway routes, the MTA also reached its goal of shortening the distance between “douche” and “bags.”
Lean years are ahead for seniors. Social Security payouts have exceeded collection revenue and the government is now warning seniors to save as much as they can. There goes the diamond-encrusted, mother-of-pearl, herringbone shuffleboard pole.
The lost revenue is from the recession and a collapsed housing market. If grandma moves in, you might see people begging banks to take their home.
In a 74-second videotaped address played on Al Jazeera, Osama Bin-Laden warned the US not to execute terrorists. He then plugged his new line of exfoliating creams “Osama Bin Shine.” You know, for that “terrorist glow.”
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Lean years are ahead for seniors. Social Security payouts have exceeded collection revenue and the government is now warning seniors to save as much as they can. There goes the diamond-encrusted, mother-of-pearl, herringbone shuffleboard pole.
The lost revenue is from the recession and a collapsed housing market. If grandma moves in, you might see people begging banks to take their home.
In a 74-second videotaped address played on Al Jazeera, Osama Bin-Laden warned the US not to execute terrorists. He then plugged his new line of exfoliating creams “Osama Bin Shine.” You know, for that “terrorist glow.”
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
March 24, 2010
Caesarian births are up 33%. Women had over 1.2 million C-sections last year. What’s truly amazing is that a third of them just went in for a knee replacement.
Now that Barack Obama has passed the most sweeping piece of federal legislation, he wants to tackle something even grander: reality show stardom.
Sarah Palin will have her own reality show. It’s supposed to go for two hours a day. But insiders predict she’ll pull out after one.
Sarah Palin will have her own show. Its working title is “I’m Not Sure I’m Smarter Than a Fifth Grader.”
Sarah Palin will have her own reality show. Unless Jay Leno takes it from her.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Now that Barack Obama has passed the most sweeping piece of federal legislation, he wants to tackle something even grander: reality show stardom.
Sarah Palin will have her own reality show. It’s supposed to go for two hours a day. But insiders predict she’ll pull out after one.
Sarah Palin will have her own show. Its working title is “I’m Not Sure I’m Smarter Than a Fifth Grader.”
Sarah Palin will have her own reality show. Unless Jay Leno takes it from her.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
March 23, 2010
Google shut itself down in China yesterday. Luckily, Chinese citizens can still get all the crucial information they need from TMZ.
Google closed because of censorship concerns. Apparently the Chinese were getting nervous when citizens searched for “Dancing with Stars votes.”
According to Money Magazine, the best place to buy a new home is Santa Rosa, Ca. The worst: Next to the house on “Jersey Shore.”
MTV is planning to broadcast its hit show “Jersey Shore” internationally. See, who needs immigration reform? One episode of “Jersey Shore” and suddenly nobody's coming here.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Google closed because of censorship concerns. Apparently the Chinese were getting nervous when citizens searched for “Dancing with Stars votes.”
According to Money Magazine, the best place to buy a new home is Santa Rosa, Ca. The worst: Next to the house on “Jersey Shore.”
MTV is planning to broadcast its hit show “Jersey Shore” internationally. See, who needs immigration reform? One episode of “Jersey Shore” and suddenly nobody's coming here.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
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