The blizzard dumped nearly 20 inches of snow in the New York metropolitan area. You’re screwed if you drive anything other than a garbage truck, a tank or a Zamboni.
According to a new study, drinking water can help you lose weight. This is especially true if you’re on vacation in Mexico.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
December 22, 2010
Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was finally repealed. A huge victory for gay service members. They haven't been this excited since the last sample sale at Barney’s.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
November 23, 2010
North Korea’s 26-year-old dictator-in-waiting admits he called for the deadly, surprise artillery attack that killed two South Korean guards last night. As for who took his dad’s Porsche out for a joyride, “wasn’t me,” he said.
Monday, November 15, 2010
November 15, 2010
Larry King will be airing a show Tuesday evening – a look back at all his years in broadcast journalism. The show will go from 7 PM until about 2016.
Saying our work there is nearly done, President Obama wants to begin pulling troops out of Afghanistan in 18 months. Wait, there was work?
Apple is planning a big announcement Tuesday morning and wants everyone to tune in at 10 AM. For once we’ll finally know where bin Laden is.
Apple is planning a big announcement Tuesday morning. There go another five paychecks.
Saying our work there is nearly done, President Obama wants to begin pulling troops out of Afghanistan in 18 months. Wait, there was work?
Apple is planning a big announcement Tuesday morning and wants everyone to tune in at 10 AM. For once we’ll finally know where bin Laden is.
Apple is planning a big announcement Tuesday morning. There go another five paychecks.
Friday, November 12, 2010
November 11, 2010
Because so many parents are out of work, a record number of teens have moved in with their grandparents. The arrangement is really working out. When grandma and grandpa sit down for dinner, the kids can join them for breakfast.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
November 09, 2010
A mysterious missile was caught on video off the coast of LA. Insiders are baffled. There hasn’t been a bomb like this on screen since Mel Gibson’s career.
In Indonesia President Obama criticized Israel’s housing policy, reiterating a policy stance that it’s always best to comment from 5,700 miles away.
President Obama can’t seem to escape disaster. This week it was the ash from a volcano. Last week, it was the fallout from the elections.
In Indonesia President Obama criticized Israel’s housing policy, reiterating a policy stance that it’s always best to comment from 5,700 miles away.
President Obama can’t seem to escape disaster. This week it was the ash from a volcano. Last week, it was the fallout from the elections.
Monday, October 25, 2010
October 25, 2010
Afghan President Hamid Karzai says he accepts bags of cash from Iran. In return, he shares his iTunes playlist.
Sales of previously owned homes rose 10% in September. So good news for everyone not already living in their parents’ car.
Sales of previously owned homes rose 10% in September. So good news for everyone not already living in their parents’ car.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
October 19, 2010
The Obama administration wants to pass a law making it easier to monitor your Facebook posts, Blackberry messages and email. If it can’t get a law through, the administration plans to just hire every dude’s girlfriend to do the job.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Sept. 24, 2010
Drug regulators are suspending the diabetes drug Avandia over concerns that it can cause heart attacks. Especially when taken with a Big Mac.
Twitter: seanmlee
Twitter: seanmlee
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Sept. 10, 2010
Toys R Us is planning to open 600 “pop-up” stores for the holiday sales season. The number one thing kids are hoping their parents get: a job.
A bed bugs infestation shut down the AMC Empire 25 in New York last week. At least now we know who actually went to see Going the Distance.
The AMC Empire 25 was shut down because of a bed bug problem. Apparently, they’ve been sneaking into theaters and making out when the lights go down.
twitter: seanmlee
A bed bugs infestation shut down the AMC Empire 25 in New York last week. At least now we know who actually went to see Going the Distance.
The AMC Empire 25 was shut down because of a bed bug problem. Apparently, they’ve been sneaking into theaters and making out when the lights go down.
twitter: seanmlee
Monday, August 2, 2010
Aug. 02, 2010
Chelsea Clinton’s wedding reportedly had over 450 guests. Remarkably, all were seated to the left of the aisle.
twitter: seanmlee
twitter: seanmlee
Friday, July 23, 2010
July 23, 2010
New York City plans to eliminate 170,000 Canadian Geese. Roughly 2/3rds of the population will be killed by gas, lethal injection, or exposure to a Miley Cyrus song.
Twitter: seanmlee
Twitter: seanmlee
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
July 21, 2010
A new movie about Facebook is coming out. There’s one in the works for Twitter, too. But it’s only 140 characters long.
With its city council’s approval, farmers in Oakland might soon be able to grow marijuana. Making Oakland farms the largest exporter of pot -- second only to every single high school parking lot in the country.
Former Cowboys coach Jimmy Johnson is competing on “Survivor: Nicaragua.” He said his toughest challenge so far has been getting tree moss to do what his hair goop usually does.
twitter: seanmlee
With its city council’s approval, farmers in Oakland might soon be able to grow marijuana. Making Oakland farms the largest exporter of pot -- second only to every single high school parking lot in the country.
Former Cowboys coach Jimmy Johnson is competing on “Survivor: Nicaragua.” He said his toughest challenge so far has been getting tree moss to do what his hair goop usually does.
twitter: seanmlee
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
July 20, 2010
With his new mechanical heart-pumping device that pumps blood continuously, Dick Cheney no longer has a pulse. There go his chances for working at a temp agency.
-----------------
twitter: seanmlee
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
-----------------
twitter: seanmlee
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
June 30, 2010
Larry King is leaving CNN. Over 25 years, King has conducted nearly 50,000 interviews. Amazingly, more than half of them were with his cardiologist.
50,000 interviews. Or approximately the number of times he gets up to pee during the night.
After 25 years, King wants to do what other 76-year-olds do. Forget names. Snap at waiters. Wander onto highways.
King will always be remembered for his trademark suspenders and oversized round glasses. But definitely not his good looks.
The 11 undercover Russian spies who were recently rounded up are said to have led very normal American lives. They were fat, lazy and easily amused.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
50,000 interviews. Or approximately the number of times he gets up to pee during the night.
After 25 years, King wants to do what other 76-year-olds do. Forget names. Snap at waiters. Wander onto highways.
King will always be remembered for his trademark suspenders and oversized round glasses. But definitely not his good looks.
The 11 undercover Russian spies who were recently rounded up are said to have led very normal American lives. They were fat, lazy and easily amused.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
June 29, 2010
Senator Robert Byrd died this weekend The 93-year-old senator was a respected voice in Congress. He was known for bringing huge amounts of federal money to West Virginia. But not a single dentist.
He was 93. Up until the end he worked a full day. All the way through dinner at 4 PM.
He was so old his first year in office was marked by high praise from everyone in the 13 colonies.
Senator Robert Byrd died this weekend. The 93-year-old Byrd was a respected voice of the Senate. The respected voice of the Senate brought huge amounts of federal money to West Virginia. But, apparently, not a single dentist.
Byrd actually wasn’t the oldest living thing in Congress. Corruption, bribery and petty infighting go back even further.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
He was 93. Up until the end he worked a full day. All the way through dinner at 4 PM.
He was so old his first year in office was marked by high praise from everyone in the 13 colonies.
Senator Robert Byrd died this weekend. The 93-year-old Byrd was a respected voice of the Senate. The respected voice of the Senate brought huge amounts of federal money to West Virginia. But, apparently, not a single dentist.
Byrd actually wasn’t the oldest living thing in Congress. Corruption, bribery and petty infighting go back even further.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Monday, June 21, 2010
June 21, 2010
The season of summer road trips is here. If your car’s on empty and there’s a long line at the gas pump, there’s good news: the line at the bottom of the Gulf is nice and short.
Simon and Garfunkel's are postponing their tour because Art Garfunkel has a condition affecting his voice. The condition is described as nobody wants to listen to it.
Many people are surprised to learn that BP isn’t the world’s largest oil producer. Twilight star Robert Pattinson’s head is.
An Oregon mom wrote an emotional letter to her missing 7-year-old son. In the letter, written for and delivered on “Good Morning America,” Desiree Young wishes to shield her son from “all of the horrible things in this world.” She could start by not subjecting him to “Good Morning America.”
North Korea’s World Cup bid ended with a humiliating 7-0 loss to Portugal. The headline in North Korea said it all: “Dear Koreans crush imperialist western giants for heroic World Cup triumph.”
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Simon and Garfunkel's are postponing their tour because Art Garfunkel has a condition affecting his voice. The condition is described as nobody wants to listen to it.
Many people are surprised to learn that BP isn’t the world’s largest oil producer. Twilight star Robert Pattinson’s head is.
An Oregon mom wrote an emotional letter to her missing 7-year-old son. In the letter, written for and delivered on “Good Morning America,” Desiree Young wishes to shield her son from “all of the horrible things in this world.” She could start by not subjecting him to “Good Morning America.”
North Korea’s World Cup bid ended with a humiliating 7-0 loss to Portugal. The headline in North Korea said it all: “Dear Koreans crush imperialist western giants for heroic World Cup triumph.”
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
June 8, 2010
Furious over government budget cuts, workers in Spain are protesting. Thousands of people marched, lit fires, blew car horns, and chanted slogans, until it was time to go home for their afternoon nap.
An army officer is being charged with divulging top-secret Army reports and giving them to wikileaks.org. This doesn’t make any sense. Leaking classified information gets you life in prison, but leaking 20,000 barrels of oil a day doesn’t?
According to the New York Times, Iran has been defying a trade sanctions by simply renaming ships, swapping in new flags, and replacing management on the ships. Sounds like a strategy BP could benefit from.
An army officer is being charged with divulging top-secret Army reports and giving them to wikileaks.org. This doesn’t make any sense. Leaking classified information gets you life in prison, but leaking 20,000 barrels of oil a day doesn’t?
According to the New York Times, Iran has been defying a trade sanctions by simply renaming ships, swapping in new flags, and replacing management on the ships. Sounds like a strategy BP could benefit from.
Friday, June 4, 2010
June 4, 2010
The toxic metal cadmium was discovered in a McDonald’s drinking glass. Look at the bright side. At least nobody’s finger was floating in it.
The burger chain said there was no reason to panic. If you can survive its Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, you can survive a little cadmium.
Makes you wonder which inflicts more pain: the Shrek glasses. Or the new Shrek movie?
BP said it made some progress plugging the oil leak in the Gulf. So get your oil-slickened speckled trout while they’re still in season.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
The burger chain said there was no reason to panic. If you can survive its Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, you can survive a little cadmium.
Makes you wonder which inflicts more pain: the Shrek glasses. Or the new Shrek movie?
BP said it made some progress plugging the oil leak in the Gulf. So get your oil-slickened speckled trout while they’re still in season.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Monday, May 10, 2010
May 10 2010
Oil continues to gush into the Gulf. This will make you long for the days when mercury in your fish was the only reason to avoid it.
Oil is streaming into the Gulf at about 5,000 gallons a day. It’s a mess on par with Lawrence Taylor’s personal life.
BP’s containment dome has failed to contain the very thing it was created to contain: bad PR.
The White Pages will soon be discontinued. The inches-thick book is apparently the victim of a digital revolution, the Internet, and superior door-stops.
It’s still Mother’s Day for Kate Gosselin. She hasn’t gotten through all the cards yet.
BP is looking to use toxic chemicals to stop the Gulf oil spill. If that doesn’t do the job, they might just try tapping the chemicals in the Situation’s hair.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Oil is streaming into the Gulf at about 5,000 gallons a day. It’s a mess on par with Lawrence Taylor’s personal life.
BP’s containment dome has failed to contain the very thing it was created to contain: bad PR.
The White Pages will soon be discontinued. The inches-thick book is apparently the victim of a digital revolution, the Internet, and superior door-stops.
It’s still Mother’s Day for Kate Gosselin. She hasn’t gotten through all the cards yet.
BP is looking to use toxic chemicals to stop the Gulf oil spill. If that doesn’t do the job, they might just try tapping the chemicals in the Situation’s hair.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
May 05, 2010
With Times Square narrowly avoiding a deadly car bombing, I long for the good old days. When your biggest fear was getting pickpocketed by some thugs or yelled at by a crazy, homeless, legless war vet.
The suspect, Faisal Shahzad, was seized on board an Emirates Airlines flight about to depart from JFK. The most amazing thing here isn’t the dramatic arrest. It’s that the flight was actually going to leave on time.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
The suspect, Faisal Shahzad, was seized on board an Emirates Airlines flight about to depart from JFK. The most amazing thing here isn’t the dramatic arrest. It’s that the flight was actually going to leave on time.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Thursday, April 15, 2010
April 15, 2010
Britain is closing its airspace after a huge volcano began to erupt in Iceland. Experts say they haven’t seen an eruption so huge and sudden since Naomi Campbell’s last altercation with her driver.
The Library of Congress is planning to archive all Twitter messages. In fact, they already have a place for them. Right between Thomas Jefferson’s must-read sexts with Sally Hemings and George Washington's Gchats.
Alongside American historical treasures like the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, you'll soon be able to find out exactly what 13-year-old Sophie McKenzie from Tampa, Florida did Thursday night. “Munchin’ on Bagel Chips. Guzzlin’ Big Gulp. Score!!!”
It's April 15th. Sucks. Sending out money. Getting zero appreciation for it. Never actually seeing a return on investment. They already have a name for that. Alimony.
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
To save much-needed funds, the government plans to send out something even more valuable than refunds: Free day passes to Six Flags.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
The Library of Congress is planning to archive all Twitter messages. In fact, they already have a place for them. Right between Thomas Jefferson’s must-read sexts with Sally Hemings and George Washington's Gchats.
Alongside American historical treasures like the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, you'll soon be able to find out exactly what 13-year-old Sophie McKenzie from Tampa, Florida did Thursday night. “Munchin’ on Bagel Chips. Guzzlin’ Big Gulp. Score!!!”
It's April 15th. Sucks. Sending out money. Getting zero appreciation for it. Never actually seeing a return on investment. They already have a name for that. Alimony.
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
To save much-needed funds, the government plans to send out something even more valuable than refunds: Free day passes to Six Flags.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
April 14, 2010
For the first time in decades, worldwide maternity deaths have decreased. Not only are more mothers living through pregnancy, when they see their hospital bills, they’re wishing they hadn’t.
Part of the reason is fewer women are getting pregnant. Experts cite higher incomes, better education, and the front pages of every daily newspaper.
Most kids are making the responsible choice. They're waiting until they’re teenagers to ruin their parents' lives.
Toyota will stop selling its Lexus GX 460 SUV. Handling problems are leading the SUVs to rollover. Which has the unexpected and welcome effect of bringing runaway Toyota Camrys to a halt.
The captain of a Chinese merchant ship is being reprimanded for smashing his boat into the Great Barrier Reef. Why focus on the negative? Think about all the ocean he didn’t slam into.
The captain of a Chinese merchant ship is being reprimanded for smashing his boat into the Great Barrier Reef. That, and he was texting while boating.
The ship was apparently fitted with a Toyota Camry break pedal.
The captain of a Chinese merchant ship is being reprimanded for smashing his boat into the Great Barrier Reef. In his defense, the 2,000-Km natural barrier and breathtaking wonder of mankind did come out of nowhere.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Part of the reason is fewer women are getting pregnant. Experts cite higher incomes, better education, and the front pages of every daily newspaper.
Most kids are making the responsible choice. They're waiting until they’re teenagers to ruin their parents' lives.
Toyota will stop selling its Lexus GX 460 SUV. Handling problems are leading the SUVs to rollover. Which has the unexpected and welcome effect of bringing runaway Toyota Camrys to a halt.
The captain of a Chinese merchant ship is being reprimanded for smashing his boat into the Great Barrier Reef. Why focus on the negative? Think about all the ocean he didn’t slam into.
The captain of a Chinese merchant ship is being reprimanded for smashing his boat into the Great Barrier Reef. That, and he was texting while boating.
The ship was apparently fitted with a Toyota Camry break pedal.
The captain of a Chinese merchant ship is being reprimanded for smashing his boat into the Great Barrier Reef. In his defense, the 2,000-Km natural barrier and breathtaking wonder of mankind did come out of nowhere.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
April 13, 2010
The Pope visits Malta this week. Its mayor wants a towering phallic art sculpture removed before he arrives. Of course, if the mayor is worried about embarrassing the pope, maybe it should have all 12-year-old boys removed, too.
While none of the priests joining him for the trip speak Maltese, the pope ought to warn them the city’s hop-on hop-off busses are not what they think.
Locals are encouraging him to visit sightseeing destinations with breathtaking views. But for god’s sake, stay away from the St Clare College Boys' Secondary School.
An American Airlines plane made an emergency landing in Iceland yesterday. Good thing nobody had to use their emergency flotation devices. The fee for those is astronomical.
The plane encountered mechanical trouble. Its credit card reader stopped working.
Actually, passengers reported smelling a chemical fumes. Investigators aren’t sure where the stench was coming from. But haven’t ruled out the halibut.
The Yankees will receive their World Series rings today at Yankee Stadium. Each ring is worth about $20,000. Almost as much as the price of a bleacher seat.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
While none of the priests joining him for the trip speak Maltese, the pope ought to warn them the city’s hop-on hop-off busses are not what they think.
Locals are encouraging him to visit sightseeing destinations with breathtaking views. But for god’s sake, stay away from the St Clare College Boys' Secondary School.
An American Airlines plane made an emergency landing in Iceland yesterday. Good thing nobody had to use their emergency flotation devices. The fee for those is astronomical.
The plane encountered mechanical trouble. Its credit card reader stopped working.
Actually, passengers reported smelling a chemical fumes. Investigators aren’t sure where the stench was coming from. But haven’t ruled out the halibut.
The Yankees will receive their World Series rings today at Yankee Stadium. Each ring is worth about $20,000. Almost as much as the price of a bleacher seat.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Monday, April 12, 2010
April 12, 2010
McDonald’s in Germany unveiled New York City-Themed cupcakes. The Chelsea is chocolate. The East Village is cappuccino. The Upper East Side is old, snotty, and costs a small fortune.
The cupcakes haven’t been the hit McDonald’s was hoping for. Apparently, Germans neither like cupcakes. Nor lame ideas.
Scientists are taking another look at hallucinogenics for ways to treat cancer, depression and eating disorders. As far as I know, ‘hrooms lead to munchies, which lead to a dozen Twinkees and seven Cheesy Gorditas from Taco Bell. They don’t treat eating disorders. They create them.
So next year’s Nobel Prize might just go to 11 seniors cutting Calculus in the Middle Village High School parking lot.
The Bloomberg Administration is planning to buy Governor’s Island from New York State. Mayor Bloomberg plans to build there what he failed to build on Manhattan’s west side: A future.
The Bloomberg Administration is planning to buy Governor’s Island from New York State. It wants to create a park, build some schools, and 300 more Duane Reeds.
The Pulitzer Prizes were announced. The Washington Post won four prizes and wishes to thank devastating natural disasters, civil wars, genocide and Michael Jackson for helping it win.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
The cupcakes haven’t been the hit McDonald’s was hoping for. Apparently, Germans neither like cupcakes. Nor lame ideas.
Scientists are taking another look at hallucinogenics for ways to treat cancer, depression and eating disorders. As far as I know, ‘hrooms lead to munchies, which lead to a dozen Twinkees and seven Cheesy Gorditas from Taco Bell. They don’t treat eating disorders. They create them.
So next year’s Nobel Prize might just go to 11 seniors cutting Calculus in the Middle Village High School parking lot.
The Bloomberg Administration is planning to buy Governor’s Island from New York State. Mayor Bloomberg plans to build there what he failed to build on Manhattan’s west side: A future.
The Bloomberg Administration is planning to buy Governor’s Island from New York State. It wants to create a park, build some schools, and 300 more Duane Reeds.
The Pulitzer Prizes were announced. The Washington Post won four prizes and wishes to thank devastating natural disasters, civil wars, genocide and Michael Jackson for helping it win.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
April 7, 2010
Spirit Airlines is preparing to charge passengers $45 per carry on bag. Which makes perfect sense. If they also get seats.
But easing the burden on passengers, airport security officials say they will not be charging for the privelage of rooting through your personal stuff, wanding your genitals and laying your underwear out for everyone to see.
Former Newark Mayor Sharpe James was released from federal prison in Virginia Tuesday morning. Told he’d be freed and sent home to Newark, Sharpe reportedly asked for a longer sentence.
Sharpe spent his 18 months time in prison mentoring, writing his memoirs and improving his handball game. He said it’s amazing what you can do with your hands. Especially when they’re not busy taking from other people’s pockets.
With rampant prostitution, crack dealers, violence and gangs, Newark should remind Sharpe of his 18 months of incarceration.
iPad users are complaining about weak signals and slow downloads. Apple said it has issued a fix. Depending on your device, it can be downloaded anywhere from 30 seconds to three days.
Summer-like day in New York City. With record-setting temperatures, girls are starting to show more skin. Guys are starting to show more chest hair.
But easing the burden on passengers, airport security officials say they will not be charging for the privelage of rooting through your personal stuff, wanding your genitals and laying your underwear out for everyone to see.
Former Newark Mayor Sharpe James was released from federal prison in Virginia Tuesday morning. Told he’d be freed and sent home to Newark, Sharpe reportedly asked for a longer sentence.
Sharpe spent his 18 months time in prison mentoring, writing his memoirs and improving his handball game. He said it’s amazing what you can do with your hands. Especially when they’re not busy taking from other people’s pockets.
With rampant prostitution, crack dealers, violence and gangs, Newark should remind Sharpe of his 18 months of incarceration.
iPad users are complaining about weak signals and slow downloads. Apple said it has issued a fix. Depending on your device, it can be downloaded anywhere from 30 seconds to three days.
Summer-like day in New York City. With record-setting temperatures, girls are starting to show more skin. Guys are starting to show more chest hair.
Monday, March 29, 2010
March 29, 2010
The crime rate in NYC is up 20% this year. And that's not even including its elected officials.
Best Buy is reportedly interested in buying RadioShack. If it goes through, Best Buy would have 30 days to revoke the purchase. Provided it hangs on to the receipt.
President Obama surprised the troops with an unannounced visit to Afghanistan over the weekend. Unannounced visits. The term alone sends shivers up the spine of John Edwards.
He was there to ask Hamid Karzai a difficult question: Michigan State or Butler?
He was there to ask Hamid Karzai a difficult question: Why is it that on all other nights we dine either sitting upright or reclining, but on this night we all recline?
He was there to send a strong signal to Hamid Karzai, face-to-face, man-to-man, leader-to-ineffective-fraudulently-elected-leader.
Passover isn’t just a Jewish tradition. In fact many Americans celebrated it at the movies this weekend. “Passover,” they would say, “the popcorn.”
North Korean defectors are using cellphones to spy on their old impenetrable country. Sources inside feed them information. Kim Jong Il is determined to make sure the calls don’t go through. That’s why he’s giving everyone in the country an AT&T account.
The crime rate in NYC is up 20% this year. In some areas it's actually at 100%. That area? Wall Street.
The crime rate in NYC is up 20% this year. That's not even including the Catholic Chuch.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Best Buy is reportedly interested in buying RadioShack. If it goes through, Best Buy would have 30 days to revoke the purchase. Provided it hangs on to the receipt.
President Obama surprised the troops with an unannounced visit to Afghanistan over the weekend. Unannounced visits. The term alone sends shivers up the spine of John Edwards.
He was there to ask Hamid Karzai a difficult question: Michigan State or Butler?
He was there to ask Hamid Karzai a difficult question: Why is it that on all other nights we dine either sitting upright or reclining, but on this night we all recline?
He was there to send a strong signal to Hamid Karzai, face-to-face, man-to-man, leader-to-ineffective-fraudulently-elected-leader.
Passover isn’t just a Jewish tradition. In fact many Americans celebrated it at the movies this weekend. “Passover,” they would say, “the popcorn.”
North Korean defectors are using cellphones to spy on their old impenetrable country. Sources inside feed them information. Kim Jong Il is determined to make sure the calls don’t go through. That’s why he’s giving everyone in the country an AT&T account.
The crime rate in NYC is up 20% this year. In some areas it's actually at 100%. That area? Wall Street.
The crime rate in NYC is up 20% this year. That's not even including the Catholic Chuch.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Thursday, March 25, 2010
March 25, 2010
The MTA approved massive service cuts yesterday. By eliminating or cutting over 100 bus and two subway routes, the MTA also reached its goal of shortening the distance between “douche” and “bags.”
Lean years are ahead for seniors. Social Security payouts have exceeded collection revenue and the government is now warning seniors to save as much as they can. There goes the diamond-encrusted, mother-of-pearl, herringbone shuffleboard pole.
The lost revenue is from the recession and a collapsed housing market. If grandma moves in, you might see people begging banks to take their home.
In a 74-second videotaped address played on Al Jazeera, Osama Bin-Laden warned the US not to execute terrorists. He then plugged his new line of exfoliating creams “Osama Bin Shine.” You know, for that “terrorist glow.”
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Lean years are ahead for seniors. Social Security payouts have exceeded collection revenue and the government is now warning seniors to save as much as they can. There goes the diamond-encrusted, mother-of-pearl, herringbone shuffleboard pole.
The lost revenue is from the recession and a collapsed housing market. If grandma moves in, you might see people begging banks to take their home.
In a 74-second videotaped address played on Al Jazeera, Osama Bin-Laden warned the US not to execute terrorists. He then plugged his new line of exfoliating creams “Osama Bin Shine.” You know, for that “terrorist glow.”
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
March 24, 2010
Caesarian births are up 33%. Women had over 1.2 million C-sections last year. What’s truly amazing is that a third of them just went in for a knee replacement.
Now that Barack Obama has passed the most sweeping piece of federal legislation, he wants to tackle something even grander: reality show stardom.
Sarah Palin will have her own reality show. It’s supposed to go for two hours a day. But insiders predict she’ll pull out after one.
Sarah Palin will have her own show. Its working title is “I’m Not Sure I’m Smarter Than a Fifth Grader.”
Sarah Palin will have her own reality show. Unless Jay Leno takes it from her.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Now that Barack Obama has passed the most sweeping piece of federal legislation, he wants to tackle something even grander: reality show stardom.
Sarah Palin will have her own reality show. It’s supposed to go for two hours a day. But insiders predict she’ll pull out after one.
Sarah Palin will have her own show. Its working title is “I’m Not Sure I’m Smarter Than a Fifth Grader.”
Sarah Palin will have her own reality show. Unless Jay Leno takes it from her.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
March 23, 2010
Google shut itself down in China yesterday. Luckily, Chinese citizens can still get all the crucial information they need from TMZ.
Google closed because of censorship concerns. Apparently the Chinese were getting nervous when citizens searched for “Dancing with Stars votes.”
According to Money Magazine, the best place to buy a new home is Santa Rosa, Ca. The worst: Next to the house on “Jersey Shore.”
MTV is planning to broadcast its hit show “Jersey Shore” internationally. See, who needs immigration reform? One episode of “Jersey Shore” and suddenly nobody's coming here.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Google closed because of censorship concerns. Apparently the Chinese were getting nervous when citizens searched for “Dancing with Stars votes.”
According to Money Magazine, the best place to buy a new home is Santa Rosa, Ca. The worst: Next to the house on “Jersey Shore.”
MTV is planning to broadcast its hit show “Jersey Shore” internationally. See, who needs immigration reform? One episode of “Jersey Shore” and suddenly nobody's coming here.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Monday, March 22, 2010
March 22, 2010
IHOP is considering adding calorie count to its menus. But doctors are concerned. The numbers alone could give you a heart attack.
Health insurance is coming for 32 million people. That’s the kind of coverage the University of Kansas men’s basketball team could only envy.
President Obama says lawmakers have answered the “Call of History.” Whose call-center, by the way, is in Hyderabad, India.
President Obama says the nation has answered the “Call of History.” Whose call-center, by the way, is in Hyderabad, India.
Health insurance passed. Twinkies, cigarettes, IHOP and soda for all!
Health insurance passed. IHOP is marking the occasion by doubling the size of its omelets to 5,000 calories each.
People with pre-existing conditions will no longer be able to be denied health insurance. Unfortunately, stupidity is not one of them.
With his approval ratings tanking, President Obama somehow rallied lawmakers to pass healthcare legislation. How? He threatened to support them in November.
IHOP is considering adding calorie count to its menus. There’s just one thing stopping it. The numbers.
----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Health insurance is coming for 32 million people. That’s the kind of coverage the University of Kansas men’s basketball team could only envy.
President Obama says lawmakers have answered the “Call of History.” Whose call-center, by the way, is in Hyderabad, India.
President Obama says the nation has answered the “Call of History.” Whose call-center, by the way, is in Hyderabad, India.
Health insurance passed. Twinkies, cigarettes, IHOP and soda for all!
Health insurance passed. IHOP is marking the occasion by doubling the size of its omelets to 5,000 calories each.
People with pre-existing conditions will no longer be able to be denied health insurance. Unfortunately, stupidity is not one of them.
With his approval ratings tanking, President Obama somehow rallied lawmakers to pass healthcare legislation. How? He threatened to support them in November.
IHOP is considering adding calorie count to its menus. There’s just one thing stopping it. The numbers.
----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Friday, March 19, 2010
March 19, 2010
The Obama administration wants to send the Guantanamo detainees to a vacant prison in northwestern Illinois. It originally wanted to send them to New Jersey. But then realized that would violate its own anti-torture policies.
Scientists in Germany created the world’s first invisibility cloak. It can render 3d objects entirely invisible. Naturally, people everywhere are very excited. Apparently, Tiger Woods asked if he could get one made in a 42-Long.
With the proposed health bill estimated to reduce federal deficits by $138 billion over 10 years, there’s no stopping it. Lawmakers are calling it the Toyota Healthcare Bill.
Russia wants to start powering towns through nuclear submarines. So who do you call when the power goes out?
Russia wants to start powering towns through nuclear submarines. I guess when the lights go out, that’s the least of your worries.
Russia wants to start powering towns through nuclear submarines. You’ll know there’s a power outage when your fingertips glow in the dark.
Universal is planning to lower CD prices to $10 or less. Natuarlly, music buyers were said to be thrilled by this. All three of them.
Universal is planning to lower CD prices to $10 or less. To which anyone under 30 asked, “What’s a CD?”
----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Scientists in Germany created the world’s first invisibility cloak. It can render 3d objects entirely invisible. Naturally, people everywhere are very excited. Apparently, Tiger Woods asked if he could get one made in a 42-Long.
With the proposed health bill estimated to reduce federal deficits by $138 billion over 10 years, there’s no stopping it. Lawmakers are calling it the Toyota Healthcare Bill.
Russia wants to start powering towns through nuclear submarines. So who do you call when the power goes out?
Russia wants to start powering towns through nuclear submarines. I guess when the lights go out, that’s the least of your worries.
Russia wants to start powering towns through nuclear submarines. You’ll know there’s a power outage when your fingertips glow in the dark.
Universal is planning to lower CD prices to $10 or less. Natuarlly, music buyers were said to be thrilled by this. All three of them.
Universal is planning to lower CD prices to $10 or less. To which anyone under 30 asked, “What’s a CD?”
----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
March 17, 2010
You’ll soon be able to buy audio recordings of criminal trials for just $2.40. Hearing your favorite hip-hop stars has never been cheaper or easier.
New Jersey is looking for ways to shrink its budget. One way, says New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, is by eliminating public school free lunches. Judging by the size of Christie, it’s probably the first time he’s ever proposed eliminating lunch.
Another way it's planning to save money is by closing hundreds of psychiatric wards. It isn’t clear if that includes the house on “Jersey Shore."
Eliminating free school lunches is great news for anyone who’s ever eaten a free school lunch.
Thirteen hundred state workers will also be laid off. Including airport personnel. Let’s hope they’re the ones working security at Newark Airport.
Instead of laying off 1,300 state workers, the entire state is hoping Christie lays off the starting lineup of the New Jersey Nets.
----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
New Jersey is looking for ways to shrink its budget. One way, says New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, is by eliminating public school free lunches. Judging by the size of Christie, it’s probably the first time he’s ever proposed eliminating lunch.
Another way it's planning to save money is by closing hundreds of psychiatric wards. It isn’t clear if that includes the house on “Jersey Shore."
Eliminating free school lunches is great news for anyone who’s ever eaten a free school lunch.
Thirteen hundred state workers will also be laid off. Including airport personnel. Let’s hope they’re the ones working security at Newark Airport.
Instead of laying off 1,300 state workers, the entire state is hoping Christie lays off the starting lineup of the New Jersey Nets.
----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
March 16, 2010
C-Span has uploaded its huge video library to the Internet. Over 160,000 hours worth of hearings and debates. And that’s just Joe Biden.
Over 23 years of Congressional sessions, hearings and debates are available free online now. Watching all 160,000 hours is almost as painful as watching one episode of the Marriage Ref.
A recent poll showed that C-Span’s audience at any one time can be as small as 1,000 viewers per hour. NBC wishes it could draw those kinds of numbers.
Members of Congress get their own profile page. Apparently, John Edwards’s links to Planned Parenthood.
Google announced it’s making its Nexus One phone available through AT&T. AT&T is confident it can drop calls with the Nexus One as well as it can with the iPhone.
Felix Baumgartner, a former Navy Seal, is planning to skydive from a record-breaking 120,000 feet. Within seconds he’ll be plummeting towards the earth at 690 miles per hour. But that actually won’t be the fastest fall to Earth ever. Just ask Tiger Woods.
----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Over 23 years of Congressional sessions, hearings and debates are available free online now. Watching all 160,000 hours is almost as painful as watching one episode of the Marriage Ref.
A recent poll showed that C-Span’s audience at any one time can be as small as 1,000 viewers per hour. NBC wishes it could draw those kinds of numbers.
Members of Congress get their own profile page. Apparently, John Edwards’s links to Planned Parenthood.
Google announced it’s making its Nexus One phone available through AT&T. AT&T is confident it can drop calls with the Nexus One as well as it can with the iPhone.
Felix Baumgartner, a former Navy Seal, is planning to skydive from a record-breaking 120,000 feet. Within seconds he’ll be plummeting towards the earth at 690 miles per hour. But that actually won’t be the fastest fall to Earth ever. Just ask Tiger Woods.
----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Monday, March 15, 2010
March 15, 2010
Following a string of strong storms this weekend, thousands of New Yorkers are without power. The Democrats in Washington know just how they feel.
Hailing a cab in New York City? Be careful. Turns out almost 30,000 drivers inappropriately overcharged riders last year. But most didn’t realize because they were just happy to have survived the ride.
Ripping us off? Who do they think they are, airlines?
Elementary schools around the country are now hiring Recess Coaches, according to a New York Times story. Adults playing with kids? Sounds like the perfect job for Eric Massa.
----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Hailing a cab in New York City? Be careful. Turns out almost 30,000 drivers inappropriately overcharged riders last year. But most didn’t realize because they were just happy to have survived the ride.
Ripping us off? Who do they think they are, airlines?
Elementary schools around the country are now hiring Recess Coaches, according to a New York Times story. Adults playing with kids? Sounds like the perfect job for Eric Massa.
----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Friday, March 12, 2010
March 11, 2010
A retirement plan lets most Greek citizens retire at 61. It’s one of the main reasons the country’s economy has collapsed. But helps explain why shuffleboard scores have soared.
Funding so many retirement pensions is one of the chief causes of Greece’s economic collapse. Our country does it better: Rather than the government paying for your retirement, corporate bankers just package and sell it.
Because of the chemicals, the Greek government has listed hairdresser as one of the most occupationally hazardous professions. If working on Greek hair is hazardous, than working on Italian hair is like playing Russian Roulette.
Botox’s top competitor is offering rebates to women dissatisfied with their anti-wrinkle treatment. This brought an immediate smile to the faces of millions of women. Their faces just couldn’t display it.
----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Funding so many retirement pensions is one of the chief causes of Greece’s economic collapse. Our country does it better: Rather than the government paying for your retirement, corporate bankers just package and sell it.
Because of the chemicals, the Greek government has listed hairdresser as one of the most occupationally hazardous professions. If working on Greek hair is hazardous, than working on Italian hair is like playing Russian Roulette.
Botox’s top competitor is offering rebates to women dissatisfied with their anti-wrinkle treatment. This brought an immediate smile to the faces of millions of women. Their faces just couldn’t display it.
----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Thursday, March 11, 2010
March 10, 2010
Playstation released its version of the Nintendo Wii. Gamers say the motion-control technology is so good you’ll be at the doctor with an inflamed elbow and torn rotator cuff in no time.
Its biggest fans: orthopedic specialists and health insurance companies.
There’s fresh evidence that Senator John Ensign steered jobs to his former mistress’s husband. This is actually encouraging: At least someone was hiring.
The White House is getting a sneak peak at the new HBO series “Pacific.” President Obama said he’s excited for the show, but is worried the viewing might interrupt the bickering between the two parties.
President Obama said he’s excited for the series, but concerned it might conflict with his favorite show, “Millionaire Matchmaker.”
Pink Floyd won a ruling that might result in iTunes and other digital music players taking its music down. So your best shot at hearing classic songs like “Comfortable Numb” and “Money” is to turn on any radio station, anytime, anywhere.
----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Its biggest fans: orthopedic specialists and health insurance companies.
There’s fresh evidence that Senator John Ensign steered jobs to his former mistress’s husband. This is actually encouraging: At least someone was hiring.
The White House is getting a sneak peak at the new HBO series “Pacific.” President Obama said he’s excited for the show, but is worried the viewing might interrupt the bickering between the two parties.
President Obama said he’s excited for the series, but concerned it might conflict with his favorite show, “Millionaire Matchmaker.”
Pink Floyd won a ruling that might result in iTunes and other digital music players taking its music down. So your best shot at hearing classic songs like “Comfortable Numb” and “Money” is to turn on any radio station, anytime, anywhere.
----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
March 09, 2010
Corey Haim died today. About 15 years after his career did.
The Post Office is considering ending Saturday deliveries. So while neither rain nor snow will stop them, Saturdays and Sundays will.
It wants to assure the public, though, that it stills plans to lose mail seven days a week.
Bank of America plans to end debit overdraft fees. They say the days of the $40 cup of coffee are over. Clearly, the bank has never been to a Starbucks.
Jihad Jane, a Pennsylvania woman known as Colleen LaRose, said she was depressed and suicidal when she agreed to help carry out terrorist plots. Suicidal. Or as it's known in the terrorist industry, “field research.”
Google has added bike routes to its online maps. There’s about 12,000 miles in all. Which includes every sidewalk, railing, park bench and subway platform in New York City.
Documentary filmmaker Michael Moore is calling for President Obama to replace Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel with him. If Moore can push his way into GM, getting past White Security shouldn’t be a problem.
----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
The Post Office is considering ending Saturday deliveries. So while neither rain nor snow will stop them, Saturdays and Sundays will.
It wants to assure the public, though, that it stills plans to lose mail seven days a week.
Bank of America plans to end debit overdraft fees. They say the days of the $40 cup of coffee are over. Clearly, the bank has never been to a Starbucks.
Jihad Jane, a Pennsylvania woman known as Colleen LaRose, said she was depressed and suicidal when she agreed to help carry out terrorist plots. Suicidal. Or as it's known in the terrorist industry, “field research.”
Google has added bike routes to its online maps. There’s about 12,000 miles in all. Which includes every sidewalk, railing, park bench and subway platform in New York City.
Documentary filmmaker Michael Moore is calling for President Obama to replace Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel with him. If Moore can push his way into GM, getting past White Security shouldn’t be a problem.
----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Monday, March 8, 2010
March 08, 2010
Lil Wayne was sentenced to a year in prison. It isn’t clear how much of that sentence will be left once he gets his teeth through security.
The Oscars Sunday night went so long that the Navis went extinct before it was over.
The Queen of England said she’s worried underdeveloped countries are missing out on opportunities for advancement because they don’t have the Internet. Seriously, how is a nation to succeed when it can’t post how much it hated that sparkly dress Zoe Saldana wore on the red carpet?
The FAA is defending its workplace policies following an incident in the control tower at JFK. They’re considering changing the policy to “Take Your Kid to Work Day But Don’t Let Him Land a Goddamn 737.”
Just be thankful the dad who let his kid play air traffic controller wasn’t your heart surgeon.
According to scientists, bonobos – our closest primate relative – would rather share their food with a companion than eat alone. And will dine at nothing less than a five-star Zagat-rated restaurant.
The Obama Administration wants to pay delinquent homeowners to sell their homes and vacate. See? There’s another way to get money from the federal government without being a car company.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
The Oscars Sunday night went so long that the Navis went extinct before it was over.
The Queen of England said she’s worried underdeveloped countries are missing out on opportunities for advancement because they don’t have the Internet. Seriously, how is a nation to succeed when it can’t post how much it hated that sparkly dress Zoe Saldana wore on the red carpet?
The FAA is defending its workplace policies following an incident in the control tower at JFK. They’re considering changing the policy to “Take Your Kid to Work Day But Don’t Let Him Land a Goddamn 737.”
Just be thankful the dad who let his kid play air traffic controller wasn’t your heart surgeon.
According to scientists, bonobos – our closest primate relative – would rather share their food with a companion than eat alone. And will dine at nothing less than a five-star Zagat-rated restaurant.
The Obama Administration wants to pay delinquent homeowners to sell their homes and vacate. See? There’s another way to get money from the federal government without being a car company.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Friday, March 5, 2010
March 04, 2010
An elementary school in Los Angeles suspended three teachers. In recognition of Black History Month, the three nominated OJ Simpson and Dennis Rodman as African American heroes. The three haven’t decided who they’ll nominate for White History Month. But right now Adolph Hitler and Jeffrey Dahmer are neck-and-neck.
The uproar isn’t just because the teachers are white. It’s because they’re also, evidently, retarded.
Metal-on-metal hip replacements are causing all kinds of complications. And orthopedic surgeons around the country are calling for the end of them. They wear quickly. Kill healthy tissue. And, worst of all, they’re a bitch to get through airport security.
New York City has reportedly filled its two millionth pothole. Quite an achievement. Meanwhile, New York Governor David Paterson hasn’t even reached the bottom of his.
Lady Gaga concert tickets have doubled in price. Apparently, the price of leopard-skin, porcelain vase three-pieces has gone up.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
The uproar isn’t just because the teachers are white. It’s because they’re also, evidently, retarded.
Metal-on-metal hip replacements are causing all kinds of complications. And orthopedic surgeons around the country are calling for the end of them. They wear quickly. Kill healthy tissue. And, worst of all, they’re a bitch to get through airport security.
New York City has reportedly filled its two millionth pothole. Quite an achievement. Meanwhile, New York Governor David Paterson hasn’t even reached the bottom of his.
Lady Gaga concert tickets have doubled in price. Apparently, the price of leopard-skin, porcelain vase three-pieces has gone up.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Thursday, March 4, 2010
March 04, 2010
The fee to apply for a US passport might increase to $135. One wonders if they'll accept store credit.
Passport fees are going up 35%. Thankfully, the country is introducing Half Price Tuesdays.
To attract visitors, the US is throwing in a free iPod Touch.
Want to buy an island? Now might be your chance. Mired in debt, Greece is apparently mulling the idea of unloading some of its 6,000 islands. Islands aren’t cheap. They start in the millions of dollars. Of course, thanks to its deflated currency, that amounts to about eight dollars each.
Greece is trying to pay off its debt buy selling its islands. New York, too, is apparently interested in its own island. But potential investors at the high price for Staten Island. Ten bucks? It’s worth at least $20.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Passport fees are going up 35%. Thankfully, the country is introducing Half Price Tuesdays.
To attract visitors, the US is throwing in a free iPod Touch.
Want to buy an island? Now might be your chance. Mired in debt, Greece is apparently mulling the idea of unloading some of its 6,000 islands. Islands aren’t cheap. They start in the millions of dollars. Of course, thanks to its deflated currency, that amounts to about eight dollars each.
Greece is trying to pay off its debt buy selling its islands. New York, too, is apparently interested in its own island. But potential investors at the high price for Staten Island. Ten bucks? It’s worth at least $20.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
March 03, 2010
A plan to let parents check if someone is a sex offender will be rolled out across England and Wales next year. In a related story, Tiger Woods said he's excited to return to professional golf. Just not in England.
The EPA designated Brooklyn’s Gowanus Canal a Superfund Site. For over a century industrial waste and raw sewage flowed into the canal. Residents said it reminded them of an outhouse after a concert. And Staten Island.
Locals are known to go kayaking in the contaminated Canal. EPA officials say the only thing more hazardous to your health is driving a Toyota.
New York City officials are saying the New York faired better during the recession than the rest of the country. Your chances of employment there are actually pretty good. Unless you’re its governor.
Seventy-nine years ago today "The Star-Spangled Banner" became the official national anthem of the United States, narrowly beating out Lil Wayne’s “Smoke Dat Cush.”
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
The EPA designated Brooklyn’s Gowanus Canal a Superfund Site. For over a century industrial waste and raw sewage flowed into the canal. Residents said it reminded them of an outhouse after a concert. And Staten Island.
Locals are known to go kayaking in the contaminated Canal. EPA officials say the only thing more hazardous to your health is driving a Toyota.
New York City officials are saying the New York faired better during the recession than the rest of the country. Your chances of employment there are actually pretty good. Unless you’re its governor.
Seventy-nine years ago today "The Star-Spangled Banner" became the official national anthem of the United States, narrowly beating out Lil Wayne’s “Smoke Dat Cush.”
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
March 02, 2010
Lines etched into ostrich eggs 60,000 years ago are the earliest examples of symbolism by humans, according to scientists. But lyrics from the Jonas Brothers, everyone else says, are by far the worst.
Some states are trying to ban digital billboards. Those with animation, blinking lights, sports scores. But marketers say they’re a great way to really hit drivers over the head with their messaging. Especially when drivers crash into them.
A New York real estate executive paid $195,000 for a six-week home rental. But the place was a dump and now Keith Rubenstein is planning on suing. Or just advertising it as “brite, beautiful, 6-bdrom mansion; amaz opp.”
Sounds like a real estate guy finally learned what it feels like to be lied to.
A New York real estate executive paid $195,000 for a six-week home rental. But the place was a dump and now Keith Rubenstein is planning on suing. Maybe he should just default like the rest of us.
A new theory suggests that cooking is what makes humans looks like humans. And that introducing meat into our diets is what lead to bigger brains and higher intelligence. Though the existence of George W. Bush tends to counters that.
Over the years, cooking meat led to tastier meals and improved quality, one scientist said. Some people disagree. Including everyone who's ever eaten at McDonalds.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Some states are trying to ban digital billboards. Those with animation, blinking lights, sports scores. But marketers say they’re a great way to really hit drivers over the head with their messaging. Especially when drivers crash into them.
A New York real estate executive paid $195,000 for a six-week home rental. But the place was a dump and now Keith Rubenstein is planning on suing. Or just advertising it as “brite, beautiful, 6-bdrom mansion; amaz opp.”
Sounds like a real estate guy finally learned what it feels like to be lied to.
A New York real estate executive paid $195,000 for a six-week home rental. But the place was a dump and now Keith Rubenstein is planning on suing. Maybe he should just default like the rest of us.
A new theory suggests that cooking is what makes humans looks like humans. And that introducing meat into our diets is what lead to bigger brains and higher intelligence. Though the existence of George W. Bush tends to counters that.
Over the years, cooking meat led to tastier meals and improved quality, one scientist said. Some people disagree. Including everyone who's ever eaten at McDonalds.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Monday, March 1, 2010
March 01, 2010
According to his latest physical, President Obama is in “excellent physical health.” His healthcare legislation, however, is in the ICU, on a breathing machine, feeding tube, and the priest just walked into the room.
President Obama passed his latest physical. Turns out an increase in his cholesterol is the only “change we can believe in.”
He’s expected to be fit for the remainder of his term. The majority of his initiatives, however, are not.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
President Obama passed his latest physical. Turns out an increase in his cholesterol is the only “change we can believe in.”
He’s expected to be fit for the remainder of his term. The majority of his initiatives, however, are not.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Feb. 25, 2010
A 100-year-old woman was stabbed to death in the neck in London. It took a cleaning crew hours to clean up the mess. There was dust everywhere.
The news division of ABC is planning to lay off close to 300 people. But it’s good news for Elaine from accounting. She’s the new White House Correspondent.
iTunes sold its 10 billionth song. American Idol singer Tim Urban just butchered his.
A chronically underperforming school in Rhode Island took drastic measures and fired all of its teachers. So in tiny Rhode Island, that means all one of them.
A killer whale fatally injured a trainer who fell into the water at SeaWorld. When Kirstie Alley takes a bath, she says she worries about the same thing.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
The news division of ABC is planning to lay off close to 300 people. But it’s good news for Elaine from accounting. She’s the new White House Correspondent.
iTunes sold its 10 billionth song. American Idol singer Tim Urban just butchered his.
A chronically underperforming school in Rhode Island took drastic measures and fired all of its teachers. So in tiny Rhode Island, that means all one of them.
A killer whale fatally injured a trainer who fell into the water at SeaWorld. When Kirstie Alley takes a bath, she says she worries about the same thing.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Feb. 23, 2010
Former Vice President Dick Cheney sustained his fifth heart attack this week. Trying to prevent another attack, which could be deadly, his heart is said to favor advanced interrogation techniques against his coronary artery.
A Queens man revealed a chilling plan to blow up the NYC subway system yesterday. Of course, it doesn’t take a backpack and a detonator to cause widespread disruption. He could have just snowed on the tracks.
Rather than waterboard him for crucial information, investigators are planning to just subject him to the F train. An equally inhumane form of torture.
With war on several fronts, the Army’s top general said he’s against ending “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” Unless, of course, the next front in the war is against red carpets, glitter and fabulousness.
Former Vice President sustained yet another heart attack – but showed no abnormal rhythm involving the upper chambers of his heart. The upper chamber being right next to the evil one.
It’s National Margarita Day. Or as Rip Torn calls it, Tuesday.
Turns out even less separates man from monkey. Research shows chimps know the difference between five chocolates and four. A pint and a quart. But apparently they couldn’t tell the difference between Kirstie Alley and Manatee.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
A Queens man revealed a chilling plan to blow up the NYC subway system yesterday. Of course, it doesn’t take a backpack and a detonator to cause widespread disruption. He could have just snowed on the tracks.
Rather than waterboard him for crucial information, investigators are planning to just subject him to the F train. An equally inhumane form of torture.
With war on several fronts, the Army’s top general said he’s against ending “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” Unless, of course, the next front in the war is against red carpets, glitter and fabulousness.
Former Vice President sustained yet another heart attack – but showed no abnormal rhythm involving the upper chambers of his heart. The upper chamber being right next to the evil one.
It’s National Margarita Day. Or as Rip Torn calls it, Tuesday.
Turns out even less separates man from monkey. Research shows chimps know the difference between five chocolates and four. A pint and a quart. But apparently they couldn’t tell the difference between Kirstie Alley and Manatee.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Monday, February 22, 2010
Feb. 22, 2010
A shipwreck left dozens of college kids clinging to lifeboats for nearly two nights hundreds of miles off the coast of Brazil. It was the best Astronomy class ever.
In Olympic hockey, Team USA upset Canada 5-3. We haven’t beaten anyone that badly since Abu Ghraib.
If you want to see bare-knuckled, bruising competition that results in medals and national glory, tune in to the Winter Olympics. If you want to see bare-knuckled, bruising competition that results in nothing – except national embarrassment – tune in to the President Obama’s healthcare summit this week on C-SPAN.
A shipwreck left dozens of college kids clinging to lifeboats for nearly two nights hundreds of miles off the coast of Brazil. The students described it almost as scary as their Statistics 2 class.
In the shark-infested waters, the students went from having the college meal plan to becoming it.
In Tiger Woods’s 14-minute news conference on Friday, the best golfer in the world showed everyone he’s also the worst actor in the world.
Call 911, get a $300 bill. That’s one California town’s novel way to raise much-needed money. $300 for a 90-second call? That isn’t an emergency call. That’s phone sex.
One California town wants to charge residents $300 for 911 emergency calls. Paying that much money for that short of a call isn’t unheard of. But usually you have to be 18 or older to call.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
In Olympic hockey, Team USA upset Canada 5-3. We haven’t beaten anyone that badly since Abu Ghraib.
If you want to see bare-knuckled, bruising competition that results in medals and national glory, tune in to the Winter Olympics. If you want to see bare-knuckled, bruising competition that results in nothing – except national embarrassment – tune in to the President Obama’s healthcare summit this week on C-SPAN.
A shipwreck left dozens of college kids clinging to lifeboats for nearly two nights hundreds of miles off the coast of Brazil. The students described it almost as scary as their Statistics 2 class.
In the shark-infested waters, the students went from having the college meal plan to becoming it.
In Tiger Woods’s 14-minute news conference on Friday, the best golfer in the world showed everyone he’s also the worst actor in the world.
Call 911, get a $300 bill. That’s one California town’s novel way to raise much-needed money. $300 for a 90-second call? That isn’t an emergency call. That’s phone sex.
One California town wants to charge residents $300 for 911 emergency calls. Paying that much money for that short of a call isn’t unheard of. But usually you have to be 18 or older to call.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Friday, February 19, 2010
Feb. 19, 2010
The National Enquirer might actually win its first Pulitzer Prize for uncovering the John Edwards-Rielle Hunter affair. I read that in The National Enquirer. Right next to “Wolfman Heals Obamas’ Dog, Smokes Celebratory Cigar with President Afterward.”
Must have been a slow news-year.
It wouldn’t be the newspaper’s first. It has won countless Pulitzers in the Aliens, Crop Circles and Wolfmen category.
Two Chinese schools -- including one with ties to the Chinese military -- are said to have broken into Google’s IT infrastructure to steal its trade secrets. Didn’t they know they could just google “Google’s trade secrets”?
Frightening stuff. So when they aren’t poisoning our toothpaste or tainting our toys, they’re reading our email.
Olympic organizers have stocked the Olympic Village with 100,000 condoms. I hadn't realized Tiger Woods qualified for the Games.
After the Federal Reserve raised interest rates yesterday, the value of a dollar rose. Just not at strip clubs.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Must have been a slow news-year.
It wouldn’t be the newspaper’s first. It has won countless Pulitzers in the Aliens, Crop Circles and Wolfmen category.
Two Chinese schools -- including one with ties to the Chinese military -- are said to have broken into Google’s IT infrastructure to steal its trade secrets. Didn’t they know they could just google “Google’s trade secrets”?
Frightening stuff. So when they aren’t poisoning our toothpaste or tainting our toys, they’re reading our email.
Olympic organizers have stocked the Olympic Village with 100,000 condoms. I hadn't realized Tiger Woods qualified for the Games.
After the Federal Reserve raised interest rates yesterday, the value of a dollar rose. Just not at strip clubs.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Feb. 17, 2010
A coroner has determined fashion maven Alexander McQueen hanged himself. Apparently, it happened right after he saw someone wearing denim on denim. His last words: “That was so 1987.”
A Scottish Terrier won the Westminster Kennel Dog Club yesterday. The crowd went wild. Of course, that’s understandable. It's been ages since there was something to cheer for at Madison Square Garden.
What a scene. The dogs went wild for the celebratory confetti. And even more wild for the vacuum that cleaned it all up.
With nobody buying music anymore, the owners of Abbey Road might have to put the famous music studio up for sale. The asking price: $.99 cents, which you can purchase through the iTunes store.
Electric cars are going to start rolling into showrooms soon. Carmakers say they’ll be able to go 100 miles on a single charge. Of course, that’s assuming you’re not running the radio and the windshield wipers.
The bicycle protest group Critical Mass suffered a setback yesterday. A judge ruled that they not only need a permit to gather, but with unemployment above 10% and the economy dragging, their cause right now is actually sadder than their bicycle bells.
Walgreens has agreed to buy Duane Reade. Actually, the deal would have gone through six months ago, but it’s still waiting on line.
Eight states will soon administer tests allowing high school sophomore to enroll immediately in community college. So it’s possible to gain that freshman 15 when you actually turn 15.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
A Scottish Terrier won the Westminster Kennel Dog Club yesterday. The crowd went wild. Of course, that’s understandable. It's been ages since there was something to cheer for at Madison Square Garden.
What a scene. The dogs went wild for the celebratory confetti. And even more wild for the vacuum that cleaned it all up.
With nobody buying music anymore, the owners of Abbey Road might have to put the famous music studio up for sale. The asking price: $.99 cents, which you can purchase through the iTunes store.
Electric cars are going to start rolling into showrooms soon. Carmakers say they’ll be able to go 100 miles on a single charge. Of course, that’s assuming you’re not running the radio and the windshield wipers.
The bicycle protest group Critical Mass suffered a setback yesterday. A judge ruled that they not only need a permit to gather, but with unemployment above 10% and the economy dragging, their cause right now is actually sadder than their bicycle bells.
Walgreens has agreed to buy Duane Reade. Actually, the deal would have gone through six months ago, but it’s still waiting on line.
Eight states will soon administer tests allowing high school sophomore to enroll immediately in community college. So it’s possible to gain that freshman 15 when you actually turn 15.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Feb. 16, 2010
Electric cars are going to start rolling into showrooms soon. Carmakers say they’ll be able to go 100 miles on a single charge. Of course, that’s assuming you’re not running the radio and the windshield wipers at the same time.
I just hope they get better battery life than my iPhone.
The oldest man on death row has died. He was so old his prison number was actually 001.
According to the British and Irish, top Hamas killers are successfully using fake passports to sneak into countries. So apparently it’s easier to sneak into the United States than the Hustler Club.
It isn’t just underage college kids trying to get alcohol. Apparently top Hamas killers are walking around with fake passports, too. British and Irish governments grew especially suspicious at the name on Mahmoud al-Mabhouh’s passport: Mclovin.
His birth certificate says Mamoud. His passport says Gary.
Three thousand years later, researchers believe malaria might have killed King Tut. But they haven't yet ruled out texting while camel-riding.
The oldest man on death row has died. Leroy Nash was 94 and died of natural causes. Proof that double homicide, grand theft auto, armed robbery, escaping from prison and killing a police officer might actually be as good for your health as diet and exercise.
A sign of life might be on a meteorite that crashed into earth 40 years ago. Scientists have identified millions of carbon-containing molecules in the rock. Now, if only they could discover the same in Congress.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
I just hope they get better battery life than my iPhone.
The oldest man on death row has died. He was so old his prison number was actually 001.
According to the British and Irish, top Hamas killers are successfully using fake passports to sneak into countries. So apparently it’s easier to sneak into the United States than the Hustler Club.
It isn’t just underage college kids trying to get alcohol. Apparently top Hamas killers are walking around with fake passports, too. British and Irish governments grew especially suspicious at the name on Mahmoud al-Mabhouh’s passport: Mclovin.
His birth certificate says Mamoud. His passport says Gary.
Three thousand years later, researchers believe malaria might have killed King Tut. But they haven't yet ruled out texting while camel-riding.
The oldest man on death row has died. Leroy Nash was 94 and died of natural causes. Proof that double homicide, grand theft auto, armed robbery, escaping from prison and killing a police officer might actually be as good for your health as diet and exercise.
A sign of life might be on a meteorite that crashed into earth 40 years ago. Scientists have identified millions of carbon-containing molecules in the rock. Now, if only they could discover the same in Congress.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Friday, February 12, 2010
Feb. 12, 2010
GE is unveiling a new iPhone-sized ultrasound machine. It’s great for doctors but bad for patients. To view your baby’s image, you have to sign up for a two-year contract.
It actually finds your baby using the iPhone Maps app.
Snowstorms have caused countless car accidents in the East. Almost as many as Toyota.
Surgeons in Pittsburg have performed the first double hand transplant. When the recipient regained full motor control, he gave himself what he characterized as the most awkward, yet satisfying hand-job ever.
The Wall Street Journal has predicted Team USA will win 33 medals at the 2010 Winter Olympics. Or about the equivalent of one medal for every American watching the games on TV.
Five-time Olympic speed-skater Apolo Anton Ohno said the key to winning gold is nonstop acceleration. Which is why he’s outfitting his skates with a Toyota gas pedal.
Executives at NBC have said that if at least 27 people watch the Winter Olympics, they’ll have the ratings boost they were looking for.
The inventor of the Frisbee, Fred Morrison, has died. Unfortunately, Ultimate Frisbee did not go with him.
In lieu of flowers, the family has asked for everyone to learn how to toss the damn thing.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
It actually finds your baby using the iPhone Maps app.
Snowstorms have caused countless car accidents in the East. Almost as many as Toyota.
Surgeons in Pittsburg have performed the first double hand transplant. When the recipient regained full motor control, he gave himself what he characterized as the most awkward, yet satisfying hand-job ever.
The Wall Street Journal has predicted Team USA will win 33 medals at the 2010 Winter Olympics. Or about the equivalent of one medal for every American watching the games on TV.
Five-time Olympic speed-skater Apolo Anton Ohno said the key to winning gold is nonstop acceleration. Which is why he’s outfitting his skates with a Toyota gas pedal.
Executives at NBC have said that if at least 27 people watch the Winter Olympics, they’ll have the ratings boost they were looking for.
The inventor of the Frisbee, Fred Morrison, has died. Unfortunately, Ultimate Frisbee did not go with him.
In lieu of flowers, the family has asked for everyone to learn how to toss the damn thing.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Feb. 10, 2010
A blizzard blanketed the East Coast today. The only place whiter than New York City right now is the Winter Olympics.
It’s too bad the economy doesn’t have a Toyota gas pedal.
Countless snowball fights broke out in Central Park today. Each being vastly more captivating than the totality of two weeks of Winter Olympic games.
A Bronx city councilmember was charged with 13 counts of money laundering today. To some, Larry Seabrook is a thief. To Wall Street, he’s one of their own.
It’s too bad the economy doesn’t have a Toyota gas pedal.
Countless snowball fights broke out in Central Park today. Each being vastly more captivating than the totality of two weeks of Winter Olympic games.
A Bronx city councilmember was charged with 13 counts of money laundering today. To some, Larry Seabrook is a thief. To Wall Street, he’s one of their own.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Feb. 09, 2010
Valentine’s Day might be awkward for New York Gov. David Paterson, who’s admitted to having extramarital affairs. But not nearly as awkward as Father’s Day.
With the sex scandal under his belt, at least now we know the first-term governor is qualified to hold office.
Paterson said he wasn’t having sex with another woman. He was simply masturbating inside of one.
Plans to produce the world’s first genetically modified food plants are being put on hold over safety concerns. Apparently the aubergine is a lousy candidate for Corn Flakes, but a great candidate for cancer.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
With the sex scandal under his belt, at least now we know the first-term governor is qualified to hold office.
Paterson said he wasn’t having sex with another woman. He was simply masturbating inside of one.
Plans to produce the world’s first genetically modified food plants are being put on hold over safety concerns. Apparently the aubergine is a lousy candidate for Corn Flakes, but a great candidate for cancer.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Monday, February 8, 2010
Feb. 08, 2010
A body was discovered in the wheel well of a NY-to-Tokyo flight today. Health officials are trying to determine if the man died of hypothermia. Or plain old airline food.
And you thought your flight sucked.
The orbital Cassini probe detected what is most likely a large body of water on one of Saturn’s moon. Scientists said it’s actually right next to a Starbucks.
Rip Torn said to call him when they find vodka.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
And you thought your flight sucked.
The orbital Cassini probe detected what is most likely a large body of water on one of Saturn’s moon. Scientists said it’s actually right next to a Starbucks.
Rip Torn said to call him when they find vodka.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Feb. 04, 2010
The last speaker of an ancient Indian language has died. While the language, Bo, goes back more than 70,000 years, it’s not nearly as widely spoken as other Indian languages, including C++, C# and Java.
A new study shows that patients in a vegetative state do, in fact, show some brain activity. Which makes them even more qualified to hold a seat in Congress than most lawmakers.
A new study shows that patients in a vegetative state do, in fact, show some brain activity. It’s kind of a no-brainer.
Thanks to hit movies like The Blind Side, Time Warner surprised everyone by posting a profit yesterday. But, more surprisingly, its cable technicians actually arrived between 12-4 PM at 774 Maple Avenue.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
A new study shows that patients in a vegetative state do, in fact, show some brain activity. Which makes them even more qualified to hold a seat in Congress than most lawmakers.
A new study shows that patients in a vegetative state do, in fact, show some brain activity. It’s kind of a no-brainer.
Thanks to hit movies like The Blind Side, Time Warner surprised everyone by posting a profit yesterday. But, more surprisingly, its cable technicians actually arrived between 12-4 PM at 774 Maple Avenue.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Feb. 04, 2010
A new study shows that patients in a vegetative state do, in fact, show some brain activity. Which makes them even more qualified to hold a seat in Congress than most lawmakers.
A new study shows that patients in a vegetative state do, in fact, show some brain activity. It’s kind of a no-brainer.
The last speaker of an ancient Indian language known as Bo has died. Apparently, her last words were, “A’ight, peace out, yo.”
The last speaker of an ancient Indian language has died. While the language, Bo, goes back more than 70,000 years, it’s not nearly as widely spoken as other Indian languages, including C++, C# and Java.
Thanks to hit movies like The Blind Side, Time Warner surprised everyone by posting a profit yesterday. But, more surprisingly, its cable technicians actually arrived between 12-4 PM at 774 Maple Avenue.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
A new study shows that patients in a vegetative state do, in fact, show some brain activity. It’s kind of a no-brainer.
The last speaker of an ancient Indian language known as Bo has died. Apparently, her last words were, “A’ight, peace out, yo.”
The last speaker of an ancient Indian language has died. While the language, Bo, goes back more than 70,000 years, it’s not nearly as widely spoken as other Indian languages, including C++, C# and Java.
Thanks to hit movies like The Blind Side, Time Warner surprised everyone by posting a profit yesterday. But, more surprisingly, its cable technicians actually arrived between 12-4 PM at 774 Maple Avenue.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Feb. 03, 2010
In light of Toyota’s struggles, some people think hara-kiri – honorable suicide – is in order for Toyota’s top brass. They could start by driving one of their own cars.
According to Forbes magazine, the most dangerous place to be is Afghanistan's Khost Province. The second most dangerous: inside a Toyota Camry.
Toyota gas pedals get stuck. Breaks in the Prius don’t work. Even its “new car smell” is noxious.
Anyone think we bailed out the wrong carmakers?
Toyota Prius. Or as drivers call it: the Toyota Pray-for-us.
Bad time to be a Toyota owner. Gas pedals get stuck. Breaks don’t work. But, hey, at least the “check engine” light isn’t blinking.
Other carmakers are offering a $1,000 if you trade in your Toyota. What they don’t tell you is that the $1,000 is coming out of your taxpaying pocket.
People are now reporting faulty breaks in their hybrid Toyota Priuses. So as you’re hurdling towards an intersection at 125 MPH, at least you can know you’re helping the environment along the way.
To monitor how the world’s oceans are changing, Europe is funding the Jason – a high-tech altimeter spacecraft. Do we really need to go to space to monitor the oceans? Isn’t the beach a little closer?
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
According to Forbes magazine, the most dangerous place to be is Afghanistan's Khost Province. The second most dangerous: inside a Toyota Camry.
Toyota gas pedals get stuck. Breaks in the Prius don’t work. Even its “new car smell” is noxious.
Anyone think we bailed out the wrong carmakers?
Toyota Prius. Or as drivers call it: the Toyota Pray-for-us.
Bad time to be a Toyota owner. Gas pedals get stuck. Breaks don’t work. But, hey, at least the “check engine” light isn’t blinking.
Other carmakers are offering a $1,000 if you trade in your Toyota. What they don’t tell you is that the $1,000 is coming out of your taxpaying pocket.
People are now reporting faulty breaks in their hybrid Toyota Priuses. So as you’re hurdling towards an intersection at 125 MPH, at least you can know you’re helping the environment along the way.
To monitor how the world’s oceans are changing, Europe is funding the Jason – a high-tech altimeter spacecraft. Do we really need to go to space to monitor the oceans? Isn’t the beach a little closer?
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Monday, February 1, 2010
Feb. 01, 2010
President Obama will hold his first youtube press conference today. Provided Malia can quit hogging all the damn White House bandwidth.
Obama isn’t the first major political figure to post video to youtube. John Edwards beat him to it. But you have to be over 18 to view that video.
The President plans to announce that Windows 7 was actually his idea.
Who would have thought that the window into the White House we all wanted would be a buddy window?
Breast reductions are the most popular form of cosmetic surgery these days – for men. While going under the knife is always terrifying, men are proving that it takes a pair of balls to lose a pair of breasts.
One thing there won’t be at this weekend’s Super Bowl: Snow. Unless, of course, you go into just about any bathroom in South Beach.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Obama isn’t the first major political figure to post video to youtube. John Edwards beat him to it. But you have to be over 18 to view that video.
The President plans to announce that Windows 7 was actually his idea.
Who would have thought that the window into the White House we all wanted would be a buddy window?
Breast reductions are the most popular form of cosmetic surgery these days – for men. While going under the knife is always terrifying, men are proving that it takes a pair of balls to lose a pair of breasts.
One thing there won’t be at this weekend’s Super Bowl: Snow. Unless, of course, you go into just about any bathroom in South Beach.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Friday, January 29, 2010
Jan. 29, 2010
CBS rejected a Super Bowl commercial for a gay dating website. If you want to see unbridled, hot, sweaty, man-on-man action, just watch any play of the game.
The network said if you want to see something gay during the game, tune in to Dancing with the Stars.
CBS rejected a Super Bowl commercial for a gay dating website. Apparently when a quarterback reaches his hands underneath his center’s rear-end, that’s fine. But a guy trying to email another guy – indecent, inappropriate, and totally unacceptable.
Russia unveiled a new $50 million stealth fighter jet today. But nobody saw it.
The Russian fighter is equipped with radar-evading stealth technology, supersonic cruising speed, has a range of 3,430 miles and even parallel parks itself.
The Russian jet is so good at avoiding detection Mayor Mike Bloomberg wants to hold the 9/11 trials in it.
-----------------
Sean Lee
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
The network said if you want to see something gay during the game, tune in to Dancing with the Stars.
CBS rejected a Super Bowl commercial for a gay dating website. Apparently when a quarterback reaches his hands underneath his center’s rear-end, that’s fine. But a guy trying to email another guy – indecent, inappropriate, and totally unacceptable.
Russia unveiled a new $50 million stealth fighter jet today. But nobody saw it.
The Russian fighter is equipped with radar-evading stealth technology, supersonic cruising speed, has a range of 3,430 miles and even parallel parks itself.
The Russian jet is so good at avoiding detection Mayor Mike Bloomberg wants to hold the 9/11 trials in it.
-----------------
Sean Lee
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Jan. 28, 2010
Scientists have determined that a 125-million-year-old dinosaur had ginger-colored feathers. And, remarkably, no gray.
A small Vermont town is worried radiation from its sole nuclear power plant might be seeping into the ground water. The news isn’t all that bad. Ben and Jerry actually released a seasonal batch of new Very Berry Toxic Fall Out Food Flavor.
The town is enraged. All 11 of them.
In his State of the Union, Barack Obama said jobs would be his number one priority. Easy to say when yours is assured for the next three years.
President Obama warned lawmakers not to “run for the hills.” Besides, there’s no jobs there either.
P. Diddy gave his teenage son a $360,000 Maybach for his 16th birthday. How many driveways do you have to shovel to get that?
54 inches of snow fell in northern Arizona last week, blanketing the huge Navajo and Hopi Indian reservations. Basic necessities had to be airlifted in, chief among them food, medicine and whiskey.
The storm dumped so much snow that retirees were actually seen outfitting their golf carts with snow chains.
A small Vermont town is worried radiation from its sole nuclear power plant might be seeping into the ground water. The news isn’t all that bad. Ben and Jerry actually released a seasonal batch of new Very Berry Toxic Fall Out Food Flavor.
The town is enraged. All 11 of them.
In his State of the Union, Barack Obama said jobs would be his number one priority. Easy to say when yours is assured for the next three years.
President Obama warned lawmakers not to “run for the hills.” Besides, there’s no jobs there either.
P. Diddy gave his teenage son a $360,000 Maybach for his 16th birthday. How many driveways do you have to shovel to get that?
54 inches of snow fell in northern Arizona last week, blanketing the huge Navajo and Hopi Indian reservations. Basic necessities had to be airlifted in, chief among them food, medicine and whiskey.
The storm dumped so much snow that retirees were actually seen outfitting their golf carts with snow chains.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Jan. 27, 2010
Toyota is halting production on its Camrys and Corrolas. Gas pedals are getting stuck when pressed causing fatal accidents. On the plus side, sales of helmets and bubble-wrap body suits are skyrocketing.
With millions of Corollas and Camrys off the road, where are people supposed to do all their text messaging?
In President Obama’s State of the Union address tonight, he plans to focus on healthcare, cutting spending, how excited he is for the new Apple Tablet.
In advanced news, President Obama’s yet unveiled State of the Union has already won him another Nobel Prize, a daytime Emmy and a six-day, seven-night all-expenses-paid trip to Disneyland.
2009 was the worst year the airlines have ever had. But it was also the best year for makers of bomb-holding underwear.
Osama Bin Laden released another video praising the Christmas Day underwear bomber. He also plugged his upcoming slacker comedy, “Two Girls, One Cave.”
Osama Bin Laden released another video praising the Christmas Day underwear bomber. He also said he’s available for Bar Mitzvahs and weddings.
-----------------
Sean Lee
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
With millions of Corollas and Camrys off the road, where are people supposed to do all their text messaging?
In President Obama’s State of the Union address tonight, he plans to focus on healthcare, cutting spending, how excited he is for the new Apple Tablet.
In advanced news, President Obama’s yet unveiled State of the Union has already won him another Nobel Prize, a daytime Emmy and a six-day, seven-night all-expenses-paid trip to Disneyland.
2009 was the worst year the airlines have ever had. But it was also the best year for makers of bomb-holding underwear.
Osama Bin Laden released another video praising the Christmas Day underwear bomber. He also plugged his upcoming slacker comedy, “Two Girls, One Cave.”
Osama Bin Laden released another video praising the Christmas Day underwear bomber. He also said he’s available for Bar Mitzvahs and weddings.
-----------------
Sean Lee
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Jan. 26, 2010
New Zealand Airlines unveiled beds in its economy-class cabins. So it’s now possible to wake up next to the person you joined the Mile High Club with.
Northwest Airlines, whose pilots overshot an airport by over 180 miles, countered by saying: Beds? Our pilots just need cockpits.
New Zealand Airlines unveiled beds in its economy-class cabins. The beds are formed by raising a metal bar for your feet onto three adjacent seats. So it’s either the world’s least desirable bed. Or the world’s most comfortable footrest.
Playstation 3 has been hacked. George Hotz, who gained notoriety by unlocking the iPhone two years ago, hacked into the “unhackable” game console in just three weeks. Upon hearing this, the Chinese government had two words for him: “You’re hired.”
Hotz is the same hacker who was the first person to unlock the iPhone a couple years ago. Clearly he’s a talented guy. Maybe it’s time he puts his talent to better use. Like by stealing cars.
Holtz can now get the game console to do anything he wants it to. Except get him a date.
A mountain in China that helped inspire the “Avatar” landscape has been named “Mount Hallelujah Avatar.” No word yet which mountain helped inspire “Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel.”
A mountain in China that helped inspire the “Avatar” landscape has been named “Mount Hallelujah Avatar.” Meanwhile, the country China has helped inspire another movie: “The Spy Next Door.”
-----------------
Sean Lee
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Northwest Airlines, whose pilots overshot an airport by over 180 miles, countered by saying: Beds? Our pilots just need cockpits.
New Zealand Airlines unveiled beds in its economy-class cabins. The beds are formed by raising a metal bar for your feet onto three adjacent seats. So it’s either the world’s least desirable bed. Or the world’s most comfortable footrest.
Playstation 3 has been hacked. George Hotz, who gained notoriety by unlocking the iPhone two years ago, hacked into the “unhackable” game console in just three weeks. Upon hearing this, the Chinese government had two words for him: “You’re hired.”
Hotz is the same hacker who was the first person to unlock the iPhone a couple years ago. Clearly he’s a talented guy. Maybe it’s time he puts his talent to better use. Like by stealing cars.
Holtz can now get the game console to do anything he wants it to. Except get him a date.
A mountain in China that helped inspire the “Avatar” landscape has been named “Mount Hallelujah Avatar.” No word yet which mountain helped inspire “Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel.”
A mountain in China that helped inspire the “Avatar” landscape has been named “Mount Hallelujah Avatar.” Meanwhile, the country China has helped inspire another movie: “The Spy Next Door.”
-----------------
Sean Lee
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Monday, January 25, 2010
Jan. 25, 2010
Ugly day in New York today. Unfortunately for New York Jets fans, it’s raining rain, not confetti.
Could be worse, Jets fans. You could be a Mets fan.
Losing the AFC Championship game feels almost as lousy as knowing you play in New Jersey.
New York’s Civil Court has the highest number of transgender people legally changing their names. Heidi Montag was even spotted there – her name being the last thing she hasn’t changed yet.
President Obama was called for jury duty. Makes sense. His first year has been on trial all year.
-----------------
Sean Lee
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Could be worse, Jets fans. You could be a Mets fan.
Losing the AFC Championship game feels almost as lousy as knowing you play in New Jersey.
New York’s Civil Court has the highest number of transgender people legally changing their names. Heidi Montag was even spotted there – her name being the last thing she hasn’t changed yet.
President Obama was called for jury duty. Makes sense. His first year has been on trial all year.
-----------------
Sean Lee
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Friday, January 22, 2010
Jan. 22, 2010
GOLDMAN
Bonus season at Goldman Sachs. For its employees the investment bank set aside $17 billion. Or the equivalent of about 531 Conans.
GOLDMAN
Record profits at Goldman Sachs means the investment bank can dole out about $17 billion in bonuses. And that’s just for government employees.
PRAYER
A teenage passenger’s Jewish prayer aboard a US Airways jet forced the plane to make an emergency landing yesterday. Passengers were frightened when they saw him stand up and strap something to his wrists and arms. Asked afterwards what he was praying for, the teen said one word: The Jets.
UNEMPLOYMENT
Unemployment hit 10.6% in NYC yesterday. A ten-year-high. It’s about to go even higher when Conan and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog are added to the rolls.
TRIUMPH
Because of the ugly business over at NBC, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog is ready to walk. He’s actually sitting patiently by the front door.
-----------------
Sean Lee
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Bonus season at Goldman Sachs. For its employees the investment bank set aside $17 billion. Or the equivalent of about 531 Conans.
GOLDMAN
Record profits at Goldman Sachs means the investment bank can dole out about $17 billion in bonuses. And that’s just for government employees.
PRAYER
A teenage passenger’s Jewish prayer aboard a US Airways jet forced the plane to make an emergency landing yesterday. Passengers were frightened when they saw him stand up and strap something to his wrists and arms. Asked afterwards what he was praying for, the teen said one word: The Jets.
UNEMPLOYMENT
Unemployment hit 10.6% in NYC yesterday. A ten-year-high. It’s about to go even higher when Conan and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog are added to the rolls.
TRIUMPH
Because of the ugly business over at NBC, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog is ready to walk. He’s actually sitting patiently by the front door.
-----------------
Sean Lee
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Jan. 20, 2010
Millions of people are complaining this morning of nausea, dizziness and headaches. No, it isn’t from watching “Avatar” in 3d. It’s from watching the Democrats in Massachusetts.
With the Democratic loss in Massachusetts, not only has the dream of nationwide health insurance died, it can’t pay the hospital bills either.
A new study argues that the Internet age puts a premium on filtering over thinking. Many experts disagree, but can’t figure out why.
A new study argues that the Internet age puts a premium on focusing over thinking. Experts can’t seem to come to a consensus. They’re too busy updating their facebook status.
According to a German study, an increasing number of men are marrying women with a bigger paycheck and a better education. Completing the role reversal, more men than ever before are staying home to cook, clean, and obsess about their weight.
-----------------
Sean Lee
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
With the Democratic loss in Massachusetts, not only has the dream of nationwide health insurance died, it can’t pay the hospital bills either.
A new study argues that the Internet age puts a premium on filtering over thinking. Many experts disagree, but can’t figure out why.
A new study argues that the Internet age puts a premium on focusing over thinking. Experts can’t seem to come to a consensus. They’re too busy updating their facebook status.
According to a German study, an increasing number of men are marrying women with a bigger paycheck and a better education. Completing the role reversal, more men than ever before are staying home to cook, clean, and obsess about their weight.
-----------------
Sean Lee
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Jan. 14, 2010
Bad news for anyone hoping to pick up E. Coli this weekend. Nestle found traces of the deadly bacteria in its Toll House cookie dough. And they’ve halted production. The good news is this: If you’re that determined to get E Coli, there’s always Taco Bell.
Nestle is stopping production on its Toll House cookies now that traces of E-coli were found. The move is meant to protect Americans, and disrupt terrorists who were plotting to cause widespread cramps, vomiting and diarrhea.
Traces of E-coli were found in a sample of Toll House cookie dough. The company is stopping production of the cookies, dashing dreams of terrorists plotting to attack us by our gastrointestinal tract.
Traces of E-coli were found in a sample of Toll House cookie dough. To which customers of Denny’s all said, “Your point being?”
Traces of E-coli were found in a sample of Toll House cookie dough. Talk about some calories you really don’t need.
Traces of E-coli were found in a sample of Toll House cookie dough. That’ll teach the kids to keep their hands out of the cookie jar.
Sarah Palin has a new job on Fox. Expected to deliver short, 30-second analysis pieces, most people are betting she’ll pull out after 15 seconds.
A mother in the UK is being charged with injecting a lethal dose of heroin into her brain-damaged son’s veins. Apparently, his final words were: “Dude, hit me again.”
-----------------
Sean Lee
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Nestle is stopping production on its Toll House cookies now that traces of E-coli were found. The move is meant to protect Americans, and disrupt terrorists who were plotting to cause widespread cramps, vomiting and diarrhea.
Traces of E-coli were found in a sample of Toll House cookie dough. The company is stopping production of the cookies, dashing dreams of terrorists plotting to attack us by our gastrointestinal tract.
Traces of E-coli were found in a sample of Toll House cookie dough. To which customers of Denny’s all said, “Your point being?”
Traces of E-coli were found in a sample of Toll House cookie dough. Talk about some calories you really don’t need.
Traces of E-coli were found in a sample of Toll House cookie dough. That’ll teach the kids to keep their hands out of the cookie jar.
Sarah Palin has a new job on Fox. Expected to deliver short, 30-second analysis pieces, most people are betting she’ll pull out after 15 seconds.
A mother in the UK is being charged with injecting a lethal dose of heroin into her brain-damaged son’s veins. Apparently, his final words were: “Dude, hit me again.”
-----------------
Sean Lee
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Jan. 12, 2010
Delta is raising fees for checked bags. $23 for the first bag, $32 for the second. And $85 if it wants an aisle.
Starbucks just unveiled lower-calorie drinks and snacks today. The skinny cinnamon dulce latte, for example, is just 90 calories. Per sip.
Walmart has started charging customers $.15 per plastic bag. Customers are outraged. Employees are, too. They’re furious that the little plastic bags are actually better compensated than they are.
You pay $.50 for larger bags. Or the equivalent of 18 rolls of toilet paper.
The move is meant to urge customers to reduce their carbon footprint. If Walmart wants to reduce its carbon footprint, maybe the place to start is with its 260,000 square-foot actual footprint.
-----------------
Sean Lee
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Starbucks just unveiled lower-calorie drinks and snacks today. The skinny cinnamon dulce latte, for example, is just 90 calories. Per sip.
Walmart has started charging customers $.15 per plastic bag. Customers are outraged. Employees are, too. They’re furious that the little plastic bags are actually better compensated than they are.
You pay $.50 for larger bags. Or the equivalent of 18 rolls of toilet paper.
The move is meant to urge customers to reduce their carbon footprint. If Walmart wants to reduce its carbon footprint, maybe the place to start is with its 260,000 square-foot actual footprint.
-----------------
Sean Lee
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Monday, January 11, 2010
Jan. 11, 2010
Turns out the latest bomb isn’t in anyone’s underwear. It’s on NBC at 10 PM.
--
The new Google phone is generating lots of complaints. First: price. Second: Apparently every time you search the address book for a friend’s phone number, you get six million results.
--
The new Google phone, Nexus One, is superior in search, battery life, and copyright infringement.
--
--
The new Google phone is generating lots of complaints. First: price. Second: Apparently every time you search the address book for a friend’s phone number, you get six million results.
--
The new Google phone, Nexus One, is superior in search, battery life, and copyright infringement.
--
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Jan. 06, 2010
Big fight on the high seas. Japanese whalers allegedly rammed their vessel into an anti-whaling activists' high-tech speedboat during a confrontation in the Southern Ocean. To be fair, the whalers did have their blinker on.
A band of Japanese whalers rammed their boat into a whale last week, killing it in the Southern Ocean. Apparently the whale didn’t see the boat’s warning: “Vessel makes wide right turns. Into whales.”
The world’s only survivor of two atomic bombs died today. Tsutomu Yamaguchi will be remembered for his resilience, his compassion, and his glow-in-the-dark skin.
He was 93 years old. Proof that exposure to atomic blasts is actually better for you than exposure to exercise.
A band of Japanese whalers rammed their boat into a whale last week, killing it in the Southern Ocean. Apparently the whale didn’t see the boat’s warning: “Vessel makes wide right turns. Into whales.”
The world’s only survivor of two atomic bombs died today. Tsutomu Yamaguchi will be remembered for his resilience, his compassion, and his glow-in-the-dark skin.
He was 93 years old. Proof that exposure to atomic blasts is actually better for you than exposure to exercise.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
