The crime rate in NYC is up 20% this year. And that's not even including its elected officials.
Best Buy is reportedly interested in buying RadioShack. If it goes through, Best Buy would have 30 days to revoke the purchase. Provided it hangs on to the receipt.
President Obama surprised the troops with an unannounced visit to Afghanistan over the weekend. Unannounced visits. The term alone sends shivers up the spine of John Edwards.
He was there to ask Hamid Karzai a difficult question: Michigan State or Butler?
He was there to ask Hamid Karzai a difficult question: Why is it that on all other nights we dine either sitting upright or reclining, but on this night we all recline?
He was there to send a strong signal to Hamid Karzai, face-to-face, man-to-man, leader-to-ineffective-fraudulently-elected-leader.
Passover isn’t just a Jewish tradition. In fact many Americans celebrated it at the movies this weekend. “Passover,” they would say, “the popcorn.”
North Korean defectors are using cellphones to spy on their old impenetrable country. Sources inside feed them information. Kim Jong Il is determined to make sure the calls don’t go through. That’s why he’s giving everyone in the country an AT&T account.
The crime rate in NYC is up 20% this year. In some areas it's actually at 100%. That area? Wall Street.
The crime rate in NYC is up 20% this year. That's not even including the Catholic Chuch.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Monday, March 29, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
March 25, 2010
The MTA approved massive service cuts yesterday. By eliminating or cutting over 100 bus and two subway routes, the MTA also reached its goal of shortening the distance between “douche” and “bags.”
Lean years are ahead for seniors. Social Security payouts have exceeded collection revenue and the government is now warning seniors to save as much as they can. There goes the diamond-encrusted, mother-of-pearl, herringbone shuffleboard pole.
The lost revenue is from the recession and a collapsed housing market. If grandma moves in, you might see people begging banks to take their home.
In a 74-second videotaped address played on Al Jazeera, Osama Bin-Laden warned the US not to execute terrorists. He then plugged his new line of exfoliating creams “Osama Bin Shine.” You know, for that “terrorist glow.”
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Lean years are ahead for seniors. Social Security payouts have exceeded collection revenue and the government is now warning seniors to save as much as they can. There goes the diamond-encrusted, mother-of-pearl, herringbone shuffleboard pole.
The lost revenue is from the recession and a collapsed housing market. If grandma moves in, you might see people begging banks to take their home.
In a 74-second videotaped address played on Al Jazeera, Osama Bin-Laden warned the US not to execute terrorists. He then plugged his new line of exfoliating creams “Osama Bin Shine.” You know, for that “terrorist glow.”
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
March 24, 2010
Caesarian births are up 33%. Women had over 1.2 million C-sections last year. What’s truly amazing is that a third of them just went in for a knee replacement.
Now that Barack Obama has passed the most sweeping piece of federal legislation, he wants to tackle something even grander: reality show stardom.
Sarah Palin will have her own reality show. It’s supposed to go for two hours a day. But insiders predict she’ll pull out after one.
Sarah Palin will have her own show. Its working title is “I’m Not Sure I’m Smarter Than a Fifth Grader.”
Sarah Palin will have her own reality show. Unless Jay Leno takes it from her.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Now that Barack Obama has passed the most sweeping piece of federal legislation, he wants to tackle something even grander: reality show stardom.
Sarah Palin will have her own reality show. It’s supposed to go for two hours a day. But insiders predict she’ll pull out after one.
Sarah Palin will have her own show. Its working title is “I’m Not Sure I’m Smarter Than a Fifth Grader.”
Sarah Palin will have her own reality show. Unless Jay Leno takes it from her.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
March 23, 2010
Google shut itself down in China yesterday. Luckily, Chinese citizens can still get all the crucial information they need from TMZ.
Google closed because of censorship concerns. Apparently the Chinese were getting nervous when citizens searched for “Dancing with Stars votes.”
According to Money Magazine, the best place to buy a new home is Santa Rosa, Ca. The worst: Next to the house on “Jersey Shore.”
MTV is planning to broadcast its hit show “Jersey Shore” internationally. See, who needs immigration reform? One episode of “Jersey Shore” and suddenly nobody's coming here.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Google closed because of censorship concerns. Apparently the Chinese were getting nervous when citizens searched for “Dancing with Stars votes.”
According to Money Magazine, the best place to buy a new home is Santa Rosa, Ca. The worst: Next to the house on “Jersey Shore.”
MTV is planning to broadcast its hit show “Jersey Shore” internationally. See, who needs immigration reform? One episode of “Jersey Shore” and suddenly nobody's coming here.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Monday, March 22, 2010
March 22, 2010
IHOP is considering adding calorie count to its menus. But doctors are concerned. The numbers alone could give you a heart attack.
Health insurance is coming for 32 million people. That’s the kind of coverage the University of Kansas men’s basketball team could only envy.
President Obama says lawmakers have answered the “Call of History.” Whose call-center, by the way, is in Hyderabad, India.
President Obama says the nation has answered the “Call of History.” Whose call-center, by the way, is in Hyderabad, India.
Health insurance passed. Twinkies, cigarettes, IHOP and soda for all!
Health insurance passed. IHOP is marking the occasion by doubling the size of its omelets to 5,000 calories each.
People with pre-existing conditions will no longer be able to be denied health insurance. Unfortunately, stupidity is not one of them.
With his approval ratings tanking, President Obama somehow rallied lawmakers to pass healthcare legislation. How? He threatened to support them in November.
IHOP is considering adding calorie count to its menus. There’s just one thing stopping it. The numbers.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Health insurance is coming for 32 million people. That’s the kind of coverage the University of Kansas men’s basketball team could only envy.
President Obama says lawmakers have answered the “Call of History.” Whose call-center, by the way, is in Hyderabad, India.
President Obama says the nation has answered the “Call of History.” Whose call-center, by the way, is in Hyderabad, India.
Health insurance passed. Twinkies, cigarettes, IHOP and soda for all!
Health insurance passed. IHOP is marking the occasion by doubling the size of its omelets to 5,000 calories each.
People with pre-existing conditions will no longer be able to be denied health insurance. Unfortunately, stupidity is not one of them.
With his approval ratings tanking, President Obama somehow rallied lawmakers to pass healthcare legislation. How? He threatened to support them in November.
IHOP is considering adding calorie count to its menus. There’s just one thing stopping it. The numbers.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Friday, March 19, 2010
March 19, 2010
The Obama administration wants to send the Guantanamo detainees to a vacant prison in northwestern Illinois. It originally wanted to send them to New Jersey. But then realized that would violate its own anti-torture policies.
Scientists in Germany created the world’s first invisibility cloak. It can render 3d objects entirely invisible. Naturally, people everywhere are very excited. Apparently, Tiger Woods asked if he could get one made in a 42-Long.
With the proposed health bill estimated to reduce federal deficits by $138 billion over 10 years, there’s no stopping it. Lawmakers are calling it the Toyota Healthcare Bill.
Russia wants to start powering towns through nuclear submarines. So who do you call when the power goes out?
Russia wants to start powering towns through nuclear submarines. I guess when the lights go out, that’s the least of your worries.
Russia wants to start powering towns through nuclear submarines. You’ll know there’s a power outage when your fingertips glow in the dark.
Universal is planning to lower CD prices to $10 or less. Natuarlly, music buyers were said to be thrilled by this. All three of them.
Universal is planning to lower CD prices to $10 or less. To which anyone under 30 asked, “What’s a CD?”
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Scientists in Germany created the world’s first invisibility cloak. It can render 3d objects entirely invisible. Naturally, people everywhere are very excited. Apparently, Tiger Woods asked if he could get one made in a 42-Long.
With the proposed health bill estimated to reduce federal deficits by $138 billion over 10 years, there’s no stopping it. Lawmakers are calling it the Toyota Healthcare Bill.
Russia wants to start powering towns through nuclear submarines. So who do you call when the power goes out?
Russia wants to start powering towns through nuclear submarines. I guess when the lights go out, that’s the least of your worries.
Russia wants to start powering towns through nuclear submarines. You’ll know there’s a power outage when your fingertips glow in the dark.
Universal is planning to lower CD prices to $10 or less. Natuarlly, music buyers were said to be thrilled by this. All three of them.
Universal is planning to lower CD prices to $10 or less. To which anyone under 30 asked, “What’s a CD?”
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
March 17, 2010
You’ll soon be able to buy audio recordings of criminal trials for just $2.40. Hearing your favorite hip-hop stars has never been cheaper or easier.
New Jersey is looking for ways to shrink its budget. One way, says New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, is by eliminating public school free lunches. Judging by the size of Christie, it’s probably the first time he’s ever proposed eliminating lunch.
Another way it's planning to save money is by closing hundreds of psychiatric wards. It isn’t clear if that includes the house on “Jersey Shore."
Eliminating free school lunches is great news for anyone who’s ever eaten a free school lunch.
Thirteen hundred state workers will also be laid off. Including airport personnel. Let’s hope they’re the ones working security at Newark Airport.
Instead of laying off 1,300 state workers, the entire state is hoping Christie lays off the starting lineup of the New Jersey Nets.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
New Jersey is looking for ways to shrink its budget. One way, says New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, is by eliminating public school free lunches. Judging by the size of Christie, it’s probably the first time he’s ever proposed eliminating lunch.
Another way it's planning to save money is by closing hundreds of psychiatric wards. It isn’t clear if that includes the house on “Jersey Shore."
Eliminating free school lunches is great news for anyone who’s ever eaten a free school lunch.
Thirteen hundred state workers will also be laid off. Including airport personnel. Let’s hope they’re the ones working security at Newark Airport.
Instead of laying off 1,300 state workers, the entire state is hoping Christie lays off the starting lineup of the New Jersey Nets.
----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
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