Britain is closing its airspace after a huge volcano began to erupt in Iceland. Experts say they haven’t seen an eruption so huge and sudden since Naomi Campbell’s last altercation with her driver.
The Library of Congress is planning to archive all Twitter messages. In fact, they already have a place for them. Right between Thomas Jefferson’s must-read sexts with Sally Hemings and George Washington's Gchats.
Alongside American historical treasures like the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, you'll soon be able to find out exactly what 13-year-old Sophie McKenzie from Tampa, Florida did Thursday night. “Munchin’ on Bagel Chips. Guzzlin’ Big Gulp. Score!!!”
It's April 15th. Sucks. Sending out money. Getting zero appreciation for it. Never actually seeing a return on investment. They already have a name for that. Alimony.
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
To save much-needed funds, the government plans to send out something even more valuable than refunds: Free day passes to Six Flags.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
April 14, 2010
For the first time in decades, worldwide maternity deaths have decreased. Not only are more mothers living through pregnancy, when they see their hospital bills, they’re wishing they hadn’t.
Part of the reason is fewer women are getting pregnant. Experts cite higher incomes, better education, and the front pages of every daily newspaper.
Most kids are making the responsible choice. They're waiting until they’re teenagers to ruin their parents' lives.
Toyota will stop selling its Lexus GX 460 SUV. Handling problems are leading the SUVs to rollover. Which has the unexpected and welcome effect of bringing runaway Toyota Camrys to a halt.
The captain of a Chinese merchant ship is being reprimanded for smashing his boat into the Great Barrier Reef. Why focus on the negative? Think about all the ocean he didn’t slam into.
The captain of a Chinese merchant ship is being reprimanded for smashing his boat into the Great Barrier Reef. That, and he was texting while boating.
The ship was apparently fitted with a Toyota Camry break pedal.
The captain of a Chinese merchant ship is being reprimanded for smashing his boat into the Great Barrier Reef. In his defense, the 2,000-Km natural barrier and breathtaking wonder of mankind did come out of nowhere.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Part of the reason is fewer women are getting pregnant. Experts cite higher incomes, better education, and the front pages of every daily newspaper.
Most kids are making the responsible choice. They're waiting until they’re teenagers to ruin their parents' lives.
Toyota will stop selling its Lexus GX 460 SUV. Handling problems are leading the SUVs to rollover. Which has the unexpected and welcome effect of bringing runaway Toyota Camrys to a halt.
The captain of a Chinese merchant ship is being reprimanded for smashing his boat into the Great Barrier Reef. Why focus on the negative? Think about all the ocean he didn’t slam into.
The captain of a Chinese merchant ship is being reprimanded for smashing his boat into the Great Barrier Reef. That, and he was texting while boating.
The ship was apparently fitted with a Toyota Camry break pedal.
The captain of a Chinese merchant ship is being reprimanded for smashing his boat into the Great Barrier Reef. In his defense, the 2,000-Km natural barrier and breathtaking wonder of mankind did come out of nowhere.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
April 13, 2010
The Pope visits Malta this week. Its mayor wants a towering phallic art sculpture removed before he arrives. Of course, if the mayor is worried about embarrassing the pope, maybe it should have all 12-year-old boys removed, too.
While none of the priests joining him for the trip speak Maltese, the pope ought to warn them the city’s hop-on hop-off busses are not what they think.
Locals are encouraging him to visit sightseeing destinations with breathtaking views. But for god’s sake, stay away from the St Clare College Boys' Secondary School.
An American Airlines plane made an emergency landing in Iceland yesterday. Good thing nobody had to use their emergency flotation devices. The fee for those is astronomical.
The plane encountered mechanical trouble. Its credit card reader stopped working.
Actually, passengers reported smelling a chemical fumes. Investigators aren’t sure where the stench was coming from. But haven’t ruled out the halibut.
The Yankees will receive their World Series rings today at Yankee Stadium. Each ring is worth about $20,000. Almost as much as the price of a bleacher seat.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
While none of the priests joining him for the trip speak Maltese, the pope ought to warn them the city’s hop-on hop-off busses are not what they think.
Locals are encouraging him to visit sightseeing destinations with breathtaking views. But for god’s sake, stay away from the St Clare College Boys' Secondary School.
An American Airlines plane made an emergency landing in Iceland yesterday. Good thing nobody had to use their emergency flotation devices. The fee for those is astronomical.
The plane encountered mechanical trouble. Its credit card reader stopped working.
Actually, passengers reported smelling a chemical fumes. Investigators aren’t sure where the stench was coming from. But haven’t ruled out the halibut.
The Yankees will receive their World Series rings today at Yankee Stadium. Each ring is worth about $20,000. Almost as much as the price of a bleacher seat.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Monday, April 12, 2010
April 12, 2010
McDonald’s in Germany unveiled New York City-Themed cupcakes. The Chelsea is chocolate. The East Village is cappuccino. The Upper East Side is old, snotty, and costs a small fortune.
The cupcakes haven’t been the hit McDonald’s was hoping for. Apparently, Germans neither like cupcakes. Nor lame ideas.
Scientists are taking another look at hallucinogenics for ways to treat cancer, depression and eating disorders. As far as I know, ‘hrooms lead to munchies, which lead to a dozen Twinkees and seven Cheesy Gorditas from Taco Bell. They don’t treat eating disorders. They create them.
So next year’s Nobel Prize might just go to 11 seniors cutting Calculus in the Middle Village High School parking lot.
The Bloomberg Administration is planning to buy Governor’s Island from New York State. Mayor Bloomberg plans to build there what he failed to build on Manhattan’s west side: A future.
The Bloomberg Administration is planning to buy Governor’s Island from New York State. It wants to create a park, build some schools, and 300 more Duane Reeds.
The Pulitzer Prizes were announced. The Washington Post won four prizes and wishes to thank devastating natural disasters, civil wars, genocide and Michael Jackson for helping it win.
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http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
The cupcakes haven’t been the hit McDonald’s was hoping for. Apparently, Germans neither like cupcakes. Nor lame ideas.
Scientists are taking another look at hallucinogenics for ways to treat cancer, depression and eating disorders. As far as I know, ‘hrooms lead to munchies, which lead to a dozen Twinkees and seven Cheesy Gorditas from Taco Bell. They don’t treat eating disorders. They create them.
So next year’s Nobel Prize might just go to 11 seniors cutting Calculus in the Middle Village High School parking lot.
The Bloomberg Administration is planning to buy Governor’s Island from New York State. Mayor Bloomberg plans to build there what he failed to build on Manhattan’s west side: A future.
The Bloomberg Administration is planning to buy Governor’s Island from New York State. It wants to create a park, build some schools, and 300 more Duane Reeds.
The Pulitzer Prizes were announced. The Washington Post won four prizes and wishes to thank devastating natural disasters, civil wars, genocide and Michael Jackson for helping it win.
-----------------
http://seanmichaellee.blogspot.com/
http://www.seanmichaellee.com
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
April 7, 2010
Spirit Airlines is preparing to charge passengers $45 per carry on bag. Which makes perfect sense. If they also get seats.
But easing the burden on passengers, airport security officials say they will not be charging for the privelage of rooting through your personal stuff, wanding your genitals and laying your underwear out for everyone to see.
Former Newark Mayor Sharpe James was released from federal prison in Virginia Tuesday morning. Told he’d be freed and sent home to Newark, Sharpe reportedly asked for a longer sentence.
Sharpe spent his 18 months time in prison mentoring, writing his memoirs and improving his handball game. He said it’s amazing what you can do with your hands. Especially when they’re not busy taking from other people’s pockets.
With rampant prostitution, crack dealers, violence and gangs, Newark should remind Sharpe of his 18 months of incarceration.
iPad users are complaining about weak signals and slow downloads. Apple said it has issued a fix. Depending on your device, it can be downloaded anywhere from 30 seconds to three days.
Summer-like day in New York City. With record-setting temperatures, girls are starting to show more skin. Guys are starting to show more chest hair.
But easing the burden on passengers, airport security officials say they will not be charging for the privelage of rooting through your personal stuff, wanding your genitals and laying your underwear out for everyone to see.
Former Newark Mayor Sharpe James was released from federal prison in Virginia Tuesday morning. Told he’d be freed and sent home to Newark, Sharpe reportedly asked for a longer sentence.
Sharpe spent his 18 months time in prison mentoring, writing his memoirs and improving his handball game. He said it’s amazing what you can do with your hands. Especially when they’re not busy taking from other people’s pockets.
With rampant prostitution, crack dealers, violence and gangs, Newark should remind Sharpe of his 18 months of incarceration.
iPad users are complaining about weak signals and slow downloads. Apple said it has issued a fix. Depending on your device, it can be downloaded anywhere from 30 seconds to three days.
Summer-like day in New York City. With record-setting temperatures, girls are starting to show more skin. Guys are starting to show more chest hair.
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